The Difference of a Year

Last year on Thanksgiving day, I met Heidy.  She was the younger sister of my friend Melissa.  I didn't know a lot about her, and I thought I would not see her much in the future.  Over the next couple weeks before Christmas, Heidy became a constant part of my life.

About a week after Christmas, she asked if she could live with us.  We agreed, and it was all downhill from there...for a while.  Heidy went on "walks" for many hours at a time.  She did not really want to be a part of our family, or better yet, she did long for family, but didn't know how to express someone wanting her to be a part of family.  After our suspections of drugs were confirmed, we kicked her out.  Fortunately, she agreed to live with her sisters.

My dad had promised her before we let her live with us that he would not give up on her as so many have in her life, and he stuck to that promise.  That caused a lot of tension between me and my dad and between me and Heidy.  Regardless, he didn't give up on her.

Heidy agreed to get some counseling, and she also got of drugs.  Somehow, through the messy muck that we call life, she and I became friends.  She learned that we really do love her, and we learned that she really does long for acceptance in our family.

I have told Matt many times that it is only through the work of the Holy Spirit that we are all friends, for human nature does not draw us toward someone that we have resented or has resented us. 

Heidy just turned 18 last month.  She has gone from a shy, angry teenager to a very beautiful young lady with a very pretty smile.  Today, as we were both sitting in my parents living room and she was loving on Emma and playing games with Haley, I sat back and smiled at the work God has done in both of us to make us be friends and to genuinely care for each other.

Praising God today for unlikely friendships.

Proud of the Twins

Last year when Karen was in the States after having Korbin (who turns one tomorrow), twins Olman and Josue came to live with us at CdE. There was adjustments to be made all around for everyone, especially Mirian. The twins were premature; we assume by two months, but we are not sure. We also believe their mom was on drugs during the pregnancy.

These two guys have had quite a bit of health issues, but slowly, they are starting to make some real progress. I have made it my mission to work with them a couple hours a day. I also started giving them daily fruits and vegies. Mirian has been fearful of feeding them thinking that various foods may make them sick, so they have just been having milk or formula. I have been teaching her how to make baby foods in the blender, and she and I each take one baby and feed them.

Olman hates me, but he loves food, and he loves Mirian. She always feeds him. I feed Josue. Josue is much smaller than Olman. In fact, before long, Josue will be smaller than Emma. They already weigh about the same, but Emma is shorter and fatter.

Josue is much further behind in his physical development. He cannot bring himself to a sitting postion, but if I sit him up, he is starting to stablize a little more each day. He started crawling about a day before I got home, and is making great progress with this. He moves all over the house now. I do daily exercises with his arms and legs. I know he is getting stronger. Today, he even tried to pull himself up from a crawling position to a standing position. He was unable to do it, but he came very close.

Both boys are doing new things every day, and I am very proud to see their progress. They are each eating a little more each day, and I am sure in the next couple months, they will have huge amouts of growth.

Josue has an appointment at the Neurologist next week as well as physical therapy at Teleton. Please join me in prayer that both of these go well.

A Tender Heart

And Jesus said, "And let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."   Matthew 19:14

I never cease to be amazed at the tender heart of my little Haley.  She has a big heart and cares so much for the good of others.  In talking about returning home to Honduras, one of the things she has been most excited about is feeding people. 

It makes me proud that she loves to help others that have less than her.  For a long time, I didn't really think she understood why we feed people, but recently, I asked her.  She said, "They are poor and it makes God happy to help them."  I suppose in other things we have said in our life, she gathered that, but I don't remember specificly teaching her that.

I love to see her desire to help others, whether it is filling Harvest bags with Cheryl so people here in Baton Rouge, passing out carrots and cucumbers in communities like Buen Samaritano, or smiling as she helps give plates at the Jesus Banquet.

It also amazes me how she loves the kids at Casa de Esperanza so deeply.  She even refers to them as her kids.  She amazingly doesn't have big fights with them.  There are days when she gets a little jealous of them, but mostly, she just loves them.  Many days, while we have been here in Baton Rouge, she has cried over how badly she missed them.

There are many things I learn from how Haley lives.  She has an innocense and purity that only a child can have.  She loves deeply and powerfully.  She does not care if a person is a millionare or someone working in the dump; she veiws them in the same light.  She speaks a simple truth, and she thanks God for everything she can think of. 

Maybe we can all take some lessons from my three year old.

MANIFEST DESTINY?

I don't really like it when I hear people claiming that we, the Americans, are God's chosen people, especially when these proclamations are coupled with statements of being blessed because of the stuff we have.  I've met people who litterally have nothing, but have a joy and peace and tell everyone how blessed they are. 

I love the beatitudes, the passage where Jesus speaks of different blessed people.  He never said, "Blessed are those who have much stuff," but instead he says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness," and other similar things.

If blessed means happy, I think many would find it strange that those that Jesus refers to as blessed display qualities that most people do not strive to have.  We should strive to live a life of being both blessed in the eyes of God and blessing others.  If one has, in fact been blessed in a manner that the world notices, use those blessing to bless another person rather than indulging his own selfish desires.

I've never really understood the idea of Manifest Destiny, the claim that USA is God's chosen country, and that we are more blessed than others in the world.  Many even believe that God loves us more because we do not live in a third-world country.  Now that I live in a third-world country, I know that God mourns at the state of both wealthy and poverty stricken countries.  All places worldwide, rich or poor, have two things in common - the fall of man is evident in everyone, and God desires to rescue everyone from themselves and the messy lives we live.

I hope that this week you can be blessed by blessing someone else.

ANTIOCH, CA GROUP HELPS PRESCHOOL

Many times I have no idea what I am doing or what I should be doing with the preschool kids and the kid I bring to Teleton and try to help.  I feel lost sometimes.  I want them to learn and if possible catch up to their age level.  For some of the kids I work closely with it is very possible that they catch up; others I know they never will.  I just want them to be stimulated in the best way possible.

Fortunately, there are others that know much more than me and know of many ways to stimulate a child's brain.  Today a small group from Antioch, CA just left.  I knew most of the group from when I was a child living there 16 years ago, but it was nice to meet them again and get to know some of them. 

Becky Sloat is a speech pathologist.  She works mostly with younger children, and many are special needs.  She arrived here with a box full of books (probably $500-600 worth of them) to be used in my preschool.  She also bought some puzzles and supplies for them.  Every time I saw her, she gave me tips on how to stimulate Yair and Any.  She gave me many ideas on how to help Guadalupe improve her speech.  Her advice is going to help a lot with everyone in the preschool class, and hopefully save a lot of frustration on both my part as well as that of the kids. 

Also, Vickie, Mary Ann, and Modina were very encouraging to me and spent much time holding Emma.

Out of the mouths of babes

Yesterday was my first day back to work at CdE.  I had done a few things here and there, but I hadn't worked a whole day.  To welcome me back... TWO trips to Teleton.  That pretty much took up the whole day.  First I took Maryuri for a Psychology appointmen in the morning and later returned with both her and Reina.

I try to keep our conversations in the car fun or educational.  For a while, Reina and I had been talking about various community workers (police, fireman, nurse) so that she might learn who they are and what they do.  Out of no where, Reina says, "Nicole, did you know we should help the poor people." 

"Yes. Honey"

"Do you know why we should help poor people?"

"Why?"

"It makes God happy, and we should always try to make God happy."

(Being very surprised that Reina is talking like this) "Wow, Reina, that is right."

Then she continues: "Did you know my mom is very poor?  That means Karen is a very good person because Karen has helped my mom with bus fare to come see me.  Karen is a good person because she helps poor like my mom."

"Nicole, do you know what God doesn't like?"

"What honey?"

"It makes God sad when we hurt others and when we say bad things about others."

"You're right honey." 

Such a simple truth, but we mess it up so much.  Out of the mouths of babes.

Holy Spirit - ALIVE, ACTIVE, POWERFUL

Many times in  my life I have heard people claim that miracles don't happen anymore and that the Holy Spirit does not still work as he did in Jesus' time.  It saddens me that anyone proclaiming to follow Christ can make statements such as these.  How can one read through the New Testament, especially the four Gospels and come to the conclusion that anything about the Holy Spirit would change.  If anything, our doubt of the Holy Spirit's existence creates an even bigger rejection of Christ from the non-believing world. 

This week I have been reading through Matthew.  Many times, Matthew says things like, claiming that they believed and they were healed; they touched Jesus and instantly were better; they cried out to Jesus, and he heard their prayers and were healed.  How can we as Christians expect anything other than a complete healing when we cry out to Christ.  We read that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.

On two occasions this week, I cried out to God with agony in my heart.  On Tuesday, I cried out for Adonis: "GOD, YOU TELL US THAT IF WE HAVE FAITH YOU WILL HEAR US AND WE CAN EVEN MOVE MOUNTAINS WITH THAT FAITH.  I HAVE FAITH THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE FOR ADONIS, THAT YOU WILL KEEP HIM SAFE.  LORD, HE IS ONLY 9 YEARS OLD, AND ALL ALONE.  WE HAVE BEEN PRAYING ABOUT THIS FOR ALMOST A WEEK.  ARE YOU HEARING US??  SEE MY FAITH AND ANSWER MY PRAYER! 

Shortly after, we received word that he was at IHNFA and had been since Thursday (no thanks to IHNFA for not following through with Karen's report of a missing child or informing us that he was there; we found out from the boy's mom).  THANK YOU LORD, FOR HEARING MY PRAYER OF FAITH AND ANSWERING IT.

Only two days later, I found myself in the same place on the couch saying a very similar prayer for baby Josue.  GOD, HE IS SO LITTLE AND WEAK.  I SIT HERE READING ABOUT ALL OF THESE PEOPLE YOU TOUCH AND HEAL.  PLEASE LORD HEAL OUR BABY JOSUE.  ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO SO.  WE NEED TO BRING THIS LITTLE GUY HOME...

Less than an hour later I was talking with Karen.  She told me that she had just received word that he was much better and that the hospital just wanted to keep him there an extra night to keep him on a regular, strict intake of medicine.  GOD, ONCE AGAIN, YOU HAVE HEARD MY CRY AND NOTICED MY MUSTARD SEED FAITH.  THANK YOU FOR HEALING THIS PRECIOUS BABY.

Yesterday, as I once again was reading in Matthew, the disciples doubt of Christs ability to perform miracles.  We read of Jesus feeding 5 thousand after the disciples were clueless as to how it could be done, and very shortly thereafter, Jesus was with 4 thousand, and once again the disciples did not know how the people were going to be fed.  However, both times, Jesus provided in an exceptional way.  I feel just like the disciple in this way.  I see God at work in a miraculous way, and then very shortly after, I stand dumbfounded wondering how a situation is going to be taken care of.  Fortunately, Jesus is there to grab my hand as a loving father does when his small child falls to the ground.  He gently coaxes me and asks why I doubted his ability.  What an awesome God we serve.

Adonis' Story

Adonis came here about a year and a half ago because his mom called IHNFA (Honduran Social Services) and said she didn't want him anymore.  He was only 8.  She had never given him a second of discipline in his entire life.  But he didn't want to be there.  He ran away...a lot.  But he always returned home.  He skipped school and did whatever he wanted.  It was a huge blow when his mom turned him away.  All kids sincerely believe that their mom loves them and wants them.  If his mom did not love him enough to keep him, I am sure he believes that we don't love him either.

Since arriving here, we have all tried to show him that we love him, care for him, and believe he is important.  However, love comes with discipline- discipline that he had never experienced.  We have always tried to explain to him that if he is going to be a part of the Casa family, he has to follow the rules set forth.  Many times, when Adonis was in trouble, he screamed like someone was beating him.  I am referring to punishments like being told to stand with his nose to the wall or the loss of a toy.  We have tried many types of punishment, but nothing has worked. 

Since the time he got here, Adonis has stolen from most of the kids, many of the employees, and some of the gringos.  He lies more than he tells the truth.  He is starving for love, but continues to do things to make others reject him. 

I imagine going 8 years without a second of discipline then moving into a home with rules was very difficult.  It was probably even more difficult knowing that it was becaus his mom simply didn't want him.  Added to these two things, he is also fighting for attention amidst 23 other children.  I think children really have a desire to stand out, especially when there are so many children involved.  Adonis' method of standing out seems to be trying to occupy our attention with his bad behavior. 

Even with all of the problems that he has, he has a piece of my heart.  I have tried hard to let him know that he is very special to me and that I love him.  Also, beneath his exterior, Adonis has a very tender heart.  I don't think many people have seen that though.

In the last few months Adonis has run away many times.  We have always found him shortly after.  His pattern is doing something big that he shouldn't then leaving so that he won't get in trouble for it.  Last week, Karen heard where he was from a parent from the school.  She went to look for him, and when he saw her he ran into a corn field.  Some staff and friends spent a couple hours walking through the corn field until they found him.  Adonis has left once again.  At school today, he kicked Katy in the most sensitive of areas, another one of our Casa kids, then left the school yard because he didn't want to be punished.  Upon hearing the news Matt went to where he was last seen, but after looking a long time was unable to find him.

Please pray for Adonis.  More specifically pray for these things in regard to him:

• Pray that he will be safe tonight.
• Pray that he will decide to come home because right now he is at a point that unless he decides he wants to live here, we can't keep him here.
• Pray that God will protect him.
• Pray that we can find a child psychologist that can provide some help for him.
• Pray that he will learn that we love him deeply and that love comes with discipline.

A FATHER'S LOVE

Matt loves his two little girls more than anything.  Recently, Haley has been rejecting Matt's love.  For example, Matt says, "I love you Haley," and she shrieks, "DON'T SAY THAT TO ME!!"  He tries to give her a hug and she throws herself on the floor screaming.  Even when Haley rejects Matt's love, he remains unchanging in his love for her.

When Haley's mood changes, Matt is always waiting with open arms to embrace her and show her how much he loves her.  I love to watch him with his girls.  Even though is feelings are hurt when his little girl doesn't want anything to do with him, he is always there to show her how much he loves and cares for her.

Our father in heaven is the same with us.  Many times we reject his love, ocassionally even throwing ourselves down on the ground screaming to avoid what he has for us.  However, He is in constant persuit of our love and is always waiting for us to come to him.  His love is constant and unchanging for us, and when we realize that, he is always waiting for us with open arms.  What an awesome God we serve.

Who Knew??

Who knew two babies could be so entirely different?  I guess that anyone who has ever had more than one baby knew that, but it is very much something I am learning.  Haley hated to be in our arms.  I remember trying to get her to sleep by rocking her, and she would scream, but when I laid her down she calmed down and went to sleep on her own.  Emma wants to be in someone's arms all the time, and gets mad if she is left in a room by herself.

Haley was fast and furious in her eating from the time she was born.  Although we burped her, she spit up almost every time she ate.  When Emma eats, she is slow and steady with her food.  She rarely spits up, but she poops about 12 times a day.  Haley only did that once a day.

In only a few days, Haley learned the difference between day and night.  She woke up only to eat and was back asleep.  Emma wants to be in my arms playing mostly between midnight and 4 AM.

Haley was so big, and Emma is so little.  Because of Haley's size, we didn't even buy newborn clothes for Emma, because they were never used with Haley.  Therefore, all of Emma's clothes are big on her.

There are many obvious differences between our two girls, but one thing that will always remain the same with them is our unchanging love for them.  They are both our princesses, and we will always love them both.  God has blessed us so much. 

Dual-citizenship

Emma is a Honduran citizen because she was born here.  She is also an American citizen because we are American citizens.  Before we can travel anywhere with her we have to obtain all of her paperwork from both countries.  Yesterday Matt started that process.

My dad told Matt that the National Registry of people was in one place, but if Matt only had to go to one place, that would have been too easy.  The first place he went to did not do birth certificates, so he set out to find the other place across the city.  He arrived at 11:40, and by noon, he called me to say that he had Emma's birth certificate.  I was shocked that he was able to get it that fast.  After he got home though, we found out that he has to have a different form before we apply for Emma's US citizen born abroad certificate and passport.

Unfortunately, the process of getting her US paperwork will take longer than the 20 minutes that it took to get Emma's birth certificate.  The funny thing about Emma being Honduran is that she officially has two last names.  Her legal Honduran name is Emma Kate Fitzgerald Tindall.  In Honduras the first last name is the dad's last name and the second is the mother's.  Generally, their legal name at birth is always their legal name.  It does not change upon marriage.

The BR Group

On July 5, fifteen from Baton Rouge arrived here in Tegucigalpa along with our dear friend Sherry Hubright.  Included in the group was our mentors and friends Kin and Donna Ellis.  It was a blessing and encouragement to have a group from our supporting church come to share in the work we do on a daily basis. 

I was so excited for their arrival.  Initially, I planned to go to dinner and devotional every single night no matter how I felt.  I had not lightened my load any at the children's home, and was becoming very tired in my pregnancy, but I really wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.  I said to Matt before they came the only work with CdE that I was going to do was my Teleton appointments.  Between the doctor appointment that I had and Teleton appointments, I was scheduled to have 5 appointments while they were here and on the days they were not doing labor, I hoped to go with them.

The group arrived on Thursday.  Friday, I had to spend much of the day at Teleton.  Fortunately, Donna went with me for the day and helped watch Haley and the others as I went into the appointments for each kid.  At the end of the day, the plan was to have a big bond fire and to roast marshmellows and hot dogs with our kids here at CdE.  Due to rain, the bond fire got canceled. 

Saturday I worked with the kids most of the day.  Sunday, I drove to town after church and enjoyed a nice meal at a Mexican restaurant (yes Mexican food is very different from Honduran food) with the folks from BR.  Monday night, I started telling Donna, Kate and Sherry that my mother-in-law Cheryl was going to be very jealous because I thought they would be able to meet Emma that week and Cheryl wouldn't.  I was starting to have contractions.  For several hours, I was having strong contractions 20 minutes apart.  I was certain they were going to become more frequent, but during the night they slowed down.

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday morning, and Dr. Darwin was ready to do the c-section right then because he said I could go into labor any minute.  He told me the absulute latest we could do it was Wednesday.  I was nervous about going into labor from Santa Ana, but I really wanted Matt to be there with me.  The doctor told me to go directly home and to do nothing till I arrived at the hospital.  I disobeyed the orders, and went to have one last meal with our group before going home.  Everyone was in a mode of celebration for the news of Emma's coming.

It was very uplifting that Sherry and Donna came and spent most of the day at the hospital while Emma was born.  While they did not get to see Emma except through a window, I felt their moral support and love. 

Before I went to the hospital, my girls received a number of gifts from various people in the church.  While we are far away from the folks in Baton Rouge, we felt their love from the people that came to work with Honduras Hope in forms such as books, candies, baby things, and a very special doll that came for Haley.  It is amazing how God gave us a group of other beilievers that allows us to have a great family in all parts of the world. 

To Kin, Donna, Sherry, Blaine, Kate, David, Jimmy, Leigh, Hannah, Kierra, Lydia, Justin, William, Woody, Nathanial, and Jack:  Each of you was a bigger encouragement to us than you know.  Thank you for giving up ten days of your time to serve the people of Honduras.  To the missions committee and elders of SBRCC:  we love that we are part of such a mission-minded church that helps to send people to so many parts of the world to share the love of Christ.  To Eddie, Kin, Blaine, Robin, David, and Michelle: We love that the ministers at South are so missions-minded and constantly encourage people to get up out of the pews and DO THE GOSPEL.  We are blessed to be a part of such an awesome church family.

The Blue-eyed Honduran Girl

I've decided that Emma is going to be the one to keep us on our toes.  That is what she has been doing since even before she made her appearance.  She was just so eager to come meet us, so eager that she felt the need to come to this world almost a month early.  With Haley's due date being July 18, 2009, I thought she might come on my cousin Alison's birthday, but instead, I was induced on July 20.  With Emma's due date being August 6, we didn't even question the possibility that she would be born on July 11.  However, last week at my doctors visit, my doctor said I was so close to going into labor that we couldn't wait.  He wanted to do it Tuesday afternoon, but I wanted Matt to be with me at the hospital.  I asked if we could do it the next day.  He agreed but made me promise that I would go home and do absolutely nothing.  I tried hard to oblige, but it was difficult.  I was just praying that my contractions would not become too frequent and that my water would not break between the bathroom and the couch.

We got to the hospital about 9:30.  My surgery was scheduled for 11:00 but no one thought it would happen before noon.  About 10:00, both of my parents, Haley, Donna and Sherry were in my room to be there to support me as I went in to surgery.  Haley actually left with my friend Melissa while I was in surgery, but she was there until they rolled me out of the room.  Surprisingly, I was taken down to the OR about 10:45.  The surgery went well, and Emma took her first breath at 11:50 AM.  I saw her for about a half second before they took her to the nursery. 

Upon entering the nursery, Dr. Castillo quickly discovered that Emma had fluid in her lungs.  He ordered that she be put on oxygen to help clear the fluid from her lungs.  He thought she would be on oxygen only for a few hours.  Shortly after birth, Emma started breathing heavily.  Every breath was a gasp.  Her little belly protruded outward with every breath.  Even though the fluid in her lungs was clearing, the breathing remained a struggle for the little baby.  By the close of Wednesday night she was put into an incubator.  I'm sure the doctor told me this on Wednesday, but I am not so sure that I was listening because when I was finally able to see her on Thursday, she was in an incubator. 

Thursday morning, Emma was very jaundiced.  The bilirubin level was very high.  Shortly after I met her, the light was turned on her.  By noon on that day, she was in the incubator with an IV and oxygen and the light.  Her breathing was very heavy.  Her pulse was very high.  I was worried.

Friday and Saturday were great days of improvement.  Sunday, Emma was finally able to nurse, but she couldn't breathe while trying to nurse.  She turned a little purple, so the doctor told me I could nurse, but I have still been giving her mommy milk from a bottle.  Sunday night, the doctor told us that Emma had a cardiologist appointment on Monday.

Monday, I spent most of the day in the nursery with Emma.  I was there when they moved her out of the incubator into the bassinet.  I was so happy that I cried.  They still had her in the bassinet with a small amount of oxygen, but it was because they were weaning her off of it slowly.  Monday afternoon, after Emma saw the cardiologist, she and the pediatrician came to tell us that there is a very small hole in Emma's heart and another small hole in a ventricle that connects the ateries.  This is what has been causing her difficulty in breathing.  They assumed that the holes had already closed a bit with all of her treatments and will close more with some medication.  Fortunately, Emma will not be facing a surgery in her near future. 

Dr. Castillo told us we would be able to take Emma home on Tuesday.  I foolishly thought that would be Tuesday morning.  By 7:00 I had gotten ready and had all of our stuff packed.  Time could not have ticked more slowly yesterday as we were waiting to take Emma home.  The doctor came at 2:00 to sign all of Emma's release papers and to explain to me how to make all of her medicines and how to give them to her.  We went home with an entire mini farmacy.  We finally left the hospital at 4:00.

Emma gave us a bit of a scare.  We are praising God for answering our prayers and healing Emma.  We are grateful that she is home with us now.  And finally, call us biased, but she is the most beautiful blue-eyed Honduran ever.  Thank God for such a sweet blessing.

Home Made Love - A Special Gift for Haley

As groups have come, many people have arrived with a gift for Emma and a gift for Haley.  Two lady's from Childress gave a baby shower in a bag for Emma, but also in that bag was two cups that she did not put down for days.  She wanted to be drinking out of both of them at the same time, one with juice, one with water.  The books that Kate Tucker brought have been read many times since last Thursday.

Tonight, Haley may have received her absolute favorite gift EVER.  A sweet lady from BR sent with her son a hand-sewn rag doll.  The doll has brown yarn for hair.  She came in a carrying case that was also hand made.  On the inside of the case, one side has a bed, and the other has a little closet full of clothes.  From the time Haley received it at dinner until we put Haley in bed, she was changing the doll in and out of her clothes.  She kissed the doll many times, and the doll kissed her back.  She said this doll was her favorite.  We told her that Mrs. Tammy made the doll just for her.  Tonight the usual party of 5 dolls and stuffed animals to sleep with Haley was replaced with this one very special doll.

We are so grateful to all of the people who have poured out their love to us in so many ways this summer, big and small.  Thank you to Tammy for sending such a special little gift for Haley that we know was made with so much love; you made a little girl very happy.

VBS

A group that is here from Dallas planned a VBS to do with the kids in Hospital Escuela. Things came up, and they decided to do it at the church in Ojojona.

They are doing four sessions - 2 yesterday and 2 today. The morning session hosts mostly little kids that are not in school and the afternoon has school-age kids.

Since it was my day off, Haley was able to go to the morning. The story was about Rahab. Haley thought she didn't want to stay but ended up having lots of fun.

I was so glad the group could do such a great VBS for the kids of my community.

Long, but good day

This morning, I had a check-up with the doctor.  My appointment was at 9:00, but here that means that the doctor arrives at 9:00 and begins working on a first-come basis.  Therefore, everyone's appointment is at 9:00.  Matt was busy working with the groups, so my mom, Haley, and I planned to leave at 7:30.  We left only a few minutes late and stopped for donuts on the way.  Between Dunkin Donuts and the hospital, the traffic was HORRENDOUS!!  We arrived to the parking garage at 9:30, but the first 3 levels were beyond the maximum limit.  Many cars were parked in places that are not places.  In an already very narrow, over-crowded, steep-hilled parking garage, that only made things more difficult.  I would get up a hill to the next level, make the turn, not have enough room for the turn back up, continue to towards the next level, start up the steep hill... until my mom said (as I was making the turn on the hill to the next level) that she thought I was a little close to the wall and needed to back up some.  Generally, I do fine on starting on hills, even steep ones, but even when I put the emergency break on, I kept creeping backwards towards a parked car instead of forward, up the hill.  THAT IS BECAUSE I WAS STILL IN REVERSE FROM BACKING UP TO NOT HIT THE WALL.  I calmly put the car in first gear and easily got up the hill.

 After parking, we made our way to the elevator.  The door opened to the elevator, then the power went off, so we walked down the stairs from the parking garage to the hospital.  Fortunately, the hospital had generators allowing one elevator to work so we did not have to climb the stairs to the 7th floor.  I got there and found I was number 6 in line, and he was with number 1.  So much for this being quick today.

We had to pick up someone at the airport who was arriving at 11.  When we left this morning, that seemed like it would be no problem.  We thought we could probably even cash a check at the bank on the way from the hospital to the airport.  As 11 rapidly approached, we knew that we were going to have to leave Howard waiting.  We tried to think of everyone who might be in the airport to tell Howard that we were coming, but NO ONE was at the airport today.  Next option was to see if there was any way Matt could leave Hospital Escuela where the group was, take a taxi, and meet Howard at the airport.  Just as we exhausted all of our options, Dr. Darwin called me in and examined me.  Everything looks very well with Emma and with me.  My first doctor (who was not an OBGYN) had it in his mind that Haley was born in the regular manner although I had told him she was a C-Section baby; therefore, he told me he was pretty sure Emma would be born naturally, not with surgery.  HOWEVER, Dr. Darwin, says since Haley was born with a C-Section, he does not feel it would be safe for me to try to have Emma naturally.  I WILL BE HAVING ANOTHER C-SECTION after Haley's birthday.  We will set the date in 2 weeks, but the date will probably be JULY 24.

My Dr's appointment ended and we arrived to the airport to pick Howard up about 12:15.  We were sure he would be looking for us waiting and he would be easy to find.  He was indeed looking for us...with an officer from immigration.  He did not know what address to put down on his form, so he could not pass through customs and immigration.  They had been waiting and looking for us for over an hour.  Too bad we couldn't contact him.

Upon leaving the aiport, we met Matt and the group where we had pizza.  We then did our errands, the bank, Pricemart for 3 separate check-outs -- Dump Food, a load of drinks for the store at CdE, and personal items.  Our final errand was the most fun, to buy stuff for Emma Kate.  Unfortunately, we faced the high prices of sticker shock; therefore, we did not buy as much as planned.  Because Haley was such a good girl today, not complaining even one time, she got a ball.  We headed home, and Haley fell asleep snuggled up with her little red ball.  We made it back to Santa Ana just in time to feed the dogs and go on to Ojojona to eat with the group.

Needless to say, I am very tired tonight.

Happy Birthday Pamela

Yesterday was Pamela's 15th birthday. In this culture a 15th birthday for a young lady is normally the one of the biggest celebrations of their life, many times being even more grandiose than a wedding.

Pamela did not want a party. We thought it might be that she did not want her friends to see that she lives in a children's home. Really, she just did not want all of that attention to be focused on her.

On Tuesday, I asked what kind of cake she wanted and she said chocolate. So we picked up a cake on the way home from Teleton.  She didn't even want everyone to sing to her, but she was very happy to have a cake.  I know her mom Karen gave her a really nice present.  Also, Matt's mom wants to do something very special for her that she will never forget.  Even though, Pamela didn't want a party, I hope that she still felt very special for her birthday.

My Day with Josue

Yesterday Josue has a doctors appointment at Teleton. The way these appointments work is to leave here at 5:00 to get to Teleton so that we can be wait in line and be one of the first there and receive one of the first appointments because they work on a first come first serve basis.

Matt, Josue, and I loaded up and everything went as planned until I got to the nurses station and they said I had to go to the front window to get Josue's appointment carnet. Matt had left to get us some breakfast. I carried the baby, his bag, his file, and his CT SCAN results, his blanket up to the chairs at the front of Teleton. This part doesn't open till 8:00. And it is another first come first serve line. Fortunately, I was sitting by some really honest people who said I had been there before them and I ended up being number 8 in that line. I was between two very kind ladies that helped with some of my stuff and wanted to know about my ministry and the kids I help take care of.

During my time of waiting for the carnet, Josue slept and woke up very smiley and flirty with everyone. It was the first time I have seen a lot of his little personality.

Josue started crying a few minutes before we went into the dr and did not stop until I stripped him down while we were in the doctor's office and he was so happy to not have clothes on.

After we saw the doctor we had to see a few other people and make a few appointments. Then it was time for Reina's self-esteem class. Josue slept most of the self-esteem class while Matt and Haley played outside.

Right after class, Matt told me that we had to go to the airport to pick some people up. The intern's vehicle broke down coming from the dump and my dad's vehicle was in the shop. Plus 4 people were flying in. We went to eat and wait on them. Haley and Reina played in the playplace while Matt spent the whole time making baby Josue laugh. We finally made it home at 2:45 right before I had to go up and work with the kids.

It was fun to be around little Josue for the day. He has such a cute little smile and he decided yesterday he was going to show it to me a lot.

Please pray for this little guy as he begins some therapy to help his physical development improve. Monday he will be 7 months and he is developmentally on the level of a 2 month old.

2 More Weeks

In March, we moved into our house, and several times since, we have left while various work has been done on the house.  Most recently, we moved out for a few projects 2 days after we got back from Baton Rouge, almost 6 weeks ago.  We keep thinking that there are only 2 weeks left, but now we only say that as a joke.  Work is being done there, we can see the daily progress, but more work keeps being added.  They had started painting one room when they decided that they should fix all of the electrical problems before any more painting could be done because they are going to have to tear some of the walls to put in new wires.

I have referred to the house several times as the "Money Pit."  This is a reference to the movie with the same name where Tom Hanks buys a big house where one problem after another is encountered, and the people working on the house always reply that it will be ready in 2 weeks.  Most of the problems that we have in our house we knew about ahead of time, but it is still frustrating at times.

We are thankful for our home and the ministry that will go on there, we are also thankful to have family here that let us keep staying for another 2 more weeks.  A few weeks ago, my mom made a joke that we may be a family of four before Emma Kate is born.  We laughed about it then, but it is seeming much less of a joke.  Here's to two more weeks, and maybe another two weeks after that.

Haley Feeds People

Since we moved here last year, Haley has always talked about her daddy and her poppy feeding people.  Every Wednesday, she announces to me "Daddy and Poppy went to the dump.  They are feeding people.  I want to feed people too."  For obvious reasons, we do not send her into the dump, but we do occasionally let her feed people.  Her first experience feeding people was in December at the Jesus Banquet where she helped Matt serve plates.  She also served many smiles and laughs.  Still, on a weekly basis, the people of the dump ask about Lili.

When the spring break groups came, she became relentless in asking when she was going to feed people again, so one day Matt loaded her up on the bus when they went to the fruit and veggie market and did a food distribution in the city.  She got to help pass out cucumbers to each person that received a bag of food.  Since March, she has regularly said to me, "Mommy, I went in the bus with the group to feed people, and I gave them pepinos (cucumbers in Sp.)  When I go with daddy to feed people again?" 

Saturday morning, Matt told me that the group was doing a food distribution, and sure enough Haley wanted to go.  This time, instead of cucumbers, she helped with the carrots and the beans.  She not only charmed every Honduran she met, but she charmed the entire group from Tupelo.  When I saw her last night, she ran into my arms and said, "Mommy, today I gived carrots to all the people, and they said gracias."  I love to see that as young as she is she gets so excited about serving others.  I hope that her desire to serve others never diminishes. 

2 MILES PER HOUR

Thursday, as usual was our day off.  We decided that instead of going into town early to eat lunch and buy groceries, we would instead leave in the afternoon to go see a movie and eat supper together.  We got to the mall only to find that half the parking lot was being taken up by the circus.  There was little parking because of that and because of all of the people that were coming early to buy tickets for the circus.  We foolishly thought that the wait for the movies would not be bad, but the line was very long, and for a while only one person was working the ticket booth.  We got our tickets for the 3:20 movie at 3:35 after waiting in line for only 30 minutes.  Haley and I went on in, and Matt went to the equally awful line to get a drink and popcorn.

After the movie, we headed downstairs to eat.  It seemed that every person in Tegucigalpa was in that mall that afternoon.  The TIGO, CLARO, and HONDUTEL stores each had lines trailing in front of 4 stores so people could make sure their numbers were registered before yesterday's deadline.  Fortunately, the restaurant we chose was not as slow moving as everything else in the mall that afternoon.  Hondurans generally do not eat at 5:30, so we were just about the only ones at the wings place except for a few people at the bar.

After eating we bought a few groceries and headed home.  I have never in my life been so ready to leave a mall.  It was so crowded, and I just wanted out of that mess.  At that time of day it should have only taken us an hour to get home, but it took much longer than that.  In between the airport and our exit, the one that goes to Chuloteca, we were in standstill traffic for over an hour.  This is only a 2 mile strip of road.  It is common for the traffic to be bad for one reason or another, but when we got to the reason why, I can honestly say I have seen nothing that compares.

After a while of inching along, we saw a couple people get up on the sidewalk to try to drive past whatever was blocking the traffic.  Matt got mad and said they were just going to make the problem worse when they tried to get back into the line of traffic.  Many people were getting out of their cars to try to figure out exactly what the problem was.  We were all stuck going nowhere.

A few minutes later, more and more cars started getting up on the sidewalk as a means to getting around the traffic.  Eventually, even Matt decided it was time to do the same.  The closer we got to the wreck, all we saw was 18 wheelers and other big trucks that simply could not pass with their drivers standing on the road just talking.  We continued on the sidewalk until we got to our exit.  At the exit we saw in one lane a wreck where the people were waiting on the traffic police to come.  Honduran law states that if you are going to call the traffic police, you cannot move your car from the scene of the accident, even if it blocks traffic.  In the other lane there was a broken down 18 wheeler.  Therefore, both lanes were blocked, no one in those lanes could move their vehicle, and people were stuck behind them both for miles.  Sometimes we get so frustrated with the things that happen on the road.  Sometimes, all we can do is laugh.

A Few Things About Me You Never Knew

Here are a few things about me that you never knew...

• My biggest fear about driving in Honduras is having a cow run in front of me while I am driving.
• I think one of the grossest feelings in the world is stepping on a wet rag or on wet socks.
• I really hate rice unless it is in a soup or Chinese-style.
• When I watch several episodes of 24 back to back, I have dreams that I am a female version of Jack Baur. 
• I sincerely believe that Frosties from Wendy's help cure a cold.
• When I am stressed I eat M&Ms
• I still love Minnie Mouse
• I get more excited about going to the zoo than most kids do
• I'd really like to ride an elephant one day, but horses scare me a little bit.
• I've always thought that museum curatiors and tour guides had great jobs
• I like to put ketchup on top of my mac and cheese
• I love to listen to Black Eyed Peas, especially when I work out
• When I travel, no matter what airport I am in, I look around for someone I know.
• I love adventure sports.
• I look forward to every Olympics and admire the athleticism of all the athletes.
• I went to the Louvre once and was most facinated by the Islamic art wing  and most disappointed by the Mona Lisa.  I just didn't see what the big deal was.
• I sweat more than most men, and that has always been really embarrassing to me.
• In college I spent most of my money on Sonic and coffee.  I think I went to Sonic Happy Hour every day.  Sometimes I went to Sonic twice in one day.
• If someone tells me they don't think I can do something, I am going to prove them wrong.
• I love karioke, but I am horrible at it and don't actually know the words to many songs.
• If I wasn't a missionary, I think I would be a teacher.
• I usually think that I am better at things than I am.
• I have a strange love for hardware stores and autopart stores.  I don't know why, but the things they sell truly fascinate me.
• I have always thought keeping a journal was a good idea.  Now I have tons of unfinished journals because many times I have gotten one and only written for about a month.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better.

AQUA SPLASH

This week the kids are on a week of vacation from classes. They were given TONS of homework. We decided since a group is not here right now to give the kids a small break from their homework. We went to the local water park, Aqua Slash. The kids look forward to going to the water park almost as much as Christmas.

Haley was so excited about it. Yesterday, after her shower she wanted to put on her swimsuit. I let her but then she was mad that we weren't leaving at 6:30 in the morning.

The morning was pretty crazy with the excitement of the day. The girls got their chores done pretty fast. A few of the kids even sat down and did some of their homework.

About 10 I tried to start fitting all of the girls in swimsuits. I had all but 2 fitted. There were none left for Ana. Her body is changing and she was really embarrassed about not having a suit that fit. Knowing that the park required suits, I called my dad asking if they sold suits there. Fortunately, they did.

Then there was our sweet Doris. Doris is 14 and may be on the mental level of a 2 year old. Her swimsuit was too small and had too many straps for her to be able to take it on and off by herself. I knew we needed to take care of getting a suit for her too.

We had an early lunch and loaded up the van at 11:30. Upon our arrival, the van with all of the kids erupt into cheers.

My dad took Ana to get a swimsuit. I took Guadalupe to the bathroom and told Doris to follow my dad. Doris did not follow me or my dad, but the other kids. I got down to where our stuff was and Doris had peed her pants. Bringing extra clothes for a 14 year old is something I never think of.

The next couple hours were spent playing in the water and and on the slides. Haley, Any, and Josue all had to take a break because they were so cold and their little bodies were shivering so badly. It was great to see Logan and Denson, two of the Honduras Hope interns holding Any and Josue and trying to warm them up.

About 3 hours after we arrived, we left. Almost every kid in the van had fallen asleep before we got back to Casa de Esperanza. We are grateful the kids got a small break from their mountains of homework for a fun afternoon at the water park.

Fugitives on the Run

Saturday night two of our guys Adonis and Fernando decided they were going to escape and find a better world. They packed up their clothes and were going to try to make their way to the city.

Fortunately, they have no street smarts and we have good, caring neighbors who called us to inform us of their whereabouts. They hadn't gotten very far. They did not know that buses didn't run at night at the time they left.

Their plan was to find money on the ground, leave for the city, and become RICH. What a plan! I doubt they would have become too rich on their 2nd and 4th grade educations.

Oh the stories they told after Dorian brought them home from their little escapade. Adonis said they found tons of money in a hole. Somehow they lost the money after Dorian picked them up. Also, they killed a member of a gang by throwing a frisbee at his head. The frisbee was clean because they washed it in a puddle of water.

Upon their return, Fernando was moved back into the big house. His behavior had deteriorated immensely in the past month since moving to Mirian's house. Adonis' behavior had been improving over the month. They both admitted that the great escape was all Fernando's great idea. Fernando had to sleep in the floor for a couple nights and Adonis had most of his clothes taken from him.

This wasn't the first time someone has run away, and it surely will not be the last. It always causes a bit of panic in the house and always a little laughter of what the kids think they can live on. Praise God these two are safe.

Maryuri's Generosity

My little Maryuri who will be 8 later this month many times is one if the rudest, most stubborn, hateful little girls. When groups come she randomly goes up to them and calls them ugly names then laughs. She knows that most people in the groups don't know what she is saying. She has a temper like you can't believe.

Sometimes, though, she has a soft side. She always comes up and kisses my belly telling Emma how much she loves her. Yesterday, a group came and spent the whole afternoon. Someone gave her a baby doll and some stuffed animals, and she came to me and placed one on my belly and said that it was for Emma. Then she gave one to Haley because she didn't have one. I love to see these little rays of sunshine shine through some of the most difficult personalities.

GROUPS ARE HERE

Eleven years ago, my dad and I came to Honduras. I loved the works and I love the groups. With every group I worked with over the years, a fraternity of sorts was formed with out brothers and sisters with whom we worked along side.

Between 2001 and 2008 I spent at least 5 weeks of 5 summers working here with different ministries. I worked hard and played hard. For a long time I tried to remember every name of each person in all the groups, and I did pretty well at it too.

Now my experience with groups is very different. I still get excited about their arrivals. However, I don't work with them; I work at the children's home. I do go eat with them, but instead of getting to know as many people as possible, I am being mom to Haley. Making sure she gets food, eats it, and is behaving creates quite the distraction in building new relationships.

Although my connection to the groups is much different that it once was, I am very thankful for my time spent with them. It is very encouraging to spend time worshiping with them in English.

To all of you who come on short term mission trips, thank you for coming. You offer us encouragement, and you help the people of this country that we love so much.

Sometimes My Best Is Only Mediocre

Lately, I have felt that everything I'm doing is only so-so. I feel like there everything I do could be done so much better.

Many days in preschool I know my lessons could be better, my games could be more fun, my crafts could be more creative.

In the afternoons I feel I many times quickly lose my patience with the kids. Sometimes I feel that I forget they are just kids and that some of the things I get so annoyed at them for are really just kids being kids.

With my sweet little Haley I many times feel like I'm being unfair to her. I drag her along to teleton, so she is frequently missing her nap or only getting a short one. Now that groups are here, she is not always going to bed when she should. Because I help with24 other kids, I don't think she always feels as special and loved as I wish she did.

As a wife, I hardly see Matt and at night when we are together I don't really feel like talking, just sleeping.

While I feel right now that everything I am responsible for is getting only mediocre results, I really am giving everything my very best effort. I am grateful the LORD doesn't call us to be PERFECT, but to do our best for HIM who makes us strong in our weaknesses. Being 7 months pregnant, I am low on energy, and some days I just want to fortify all of my responsibilities, but that is not giving my best effort. I will honor God by giving him my best, even when my best doesn't seem that good.

Thank You, God

As I sit here at 4:45 on a wet Sunday morning, after being awake close to an hour due to Matt's snoring and my enlarged belly and not being able to make myself comfortable in any position.  I am praising God this morning for my pregnancy and for little Emma that is living inside of me.

Here, much of the time pregnancies are rarely happy occasions.  Most babies are born to single mom's who upon finding out that they are pregnant feel shame for allowing it to happen to them and fear for having to try to figure out how they are going to take care of a little person.  With so many people going hungry in this country, babies are many times seen as burdensome because they come into the world as just one more mouth that has to be fed.

Some might wonder how in a country where almost everyone is born to a single mother why they keep making the same mistakes.  Much of this happens in trying to survive.  When a man promises to help care for a woman financially if she helps take care of his needs it is an unwritten code that the man is out when she gets pregnant.  Also, because of the lack of men involved in children's lives in this country there is a desire for love and acceptance that women will do just about anything to receive them.

I am thankful that our baby is being welcomed into this world in a very different circumstance.  We wanted another baby.  We prayed that God would give her to us.  Emma is going to be greeted with open arms and lots of love.  She has a mommy, daddy and sister that are all eagerly waiting her arrival.  We know that she is never going to be starving.  And while babies bring any family a lot of change, many sleepless nights, and countless poopie diapers, we know that babies are one of the biggest blessings of God.

Thank you, Lord that Emma and Haley both are welcome parts of our family.  I pray that they will both grow up to honor you.

5 Years

Five years ago we got married. Boy, have there been a lot of changes over these years.

In 5 years we have:
Graduated college
Moved 6 times
Lived in 3 countries (USA, Costa Rica, Honduras)
Lived in two States
Between us I think we have had 8 jobs.
Had 1 beautiful princess and another that will be here in the next couple months.
Learned Spanish.
Visited San Francisco.
Visited Roatan, Honduras
Visited Belize City, Belize
Visited Cozumel, Mexico
Visited El Salvador
Seen beautiful waterfalls and volcanoes of Costa Rica
Flown through the trees in various canopy tours
Made many road trips
Been a part of various ministries in each place we have lived.
Worked with lots of children
Made lots of relationships
Been a part of 4 different churches
AND MUCH MORE

These five years have been full of new adventures, lots of change, many new experiences, several arguments. One thing that grows always is our live for each other.

A Special Date

Tomorrow is our 5th anniversary, but tomorrow also is the start of the summer groups.  Therefore, we could not do anything to celebrate tomorrow.  Yesterday was our day off, so we decided to spend the night at a hotel, eat out, and go to a movie.  First we went to the Marriott.  The lady told us that one night there would be $250.  I didn't really believe her, and I asked about it, and she repeated the price.  We turned around and left and made a much cheaper room reservation on the way to the Clarion.  At the same time, I saw that a room at the Marriott only cost $100, so my instinct was right that the lady was trying to rip us off (even if she hadn't been, we wouldn't have paid that much).

At supper time, we decided to take a taxi rather than fight traffic and have to go on a hunt for parking.  We told him we wanted to go to Applebees and he did not know where it was.  So strangely enough, I knew directions better than a taxi driver.  We had a very pleasant meal together.  I had been craving artichoke dip, and they had that as an appetizer.  YUM!

After dinner, we went and saw Men in Black 3 then attempted catching another taxi back to the hotel.  The guy told us he wanted more than double of what we had paid for our taxi to the restaurant.  Figuring that we could catch another taxi on the road between the mall and the hotel, we set out walking.  In true Honduran fashion, about a block and a half after we started walking, the rains began to pour down on us.  Then they got harder.  When we were about 2 blocks from the hotel, a car drove through a huge puddle and tidal waved us.  Anything on us that was still dry before that point, was soaked after the car passed by.  All we could do as we were walking back to the hotel was laugh.

I am thankful that my mom was able to watch Haley last night and that Matt and I could spend some special time together and get away from the craziness of our day-to-day life, even if getting away is only a few miles away.  We enjoyed our evening together, and are so thankful that we have each other.

The Saga of THE WRECK

About a week before we went to Baton Rouge, Matt was in a really bad wreck.  He was turning left into the business that they buy water on the way to the dump.  Matt did everything right.  He slowed down.  He had his signal on.  He made sure no one was coming from the other direction.  The van behind him was going about 80 miles an hour, and when Matt was turning, the driver of the van was driving in the left lane of the road thinking he could get around Matt before Matt made the turn.  As Matt was turning into the water place, the van rammed into the tailgate of the pick up.

The impact caused the truck Matt was in to spin out.  Also, it knocked the spare tire off the bottom of the car and sent it about a half KM down the road.  The axle on the back driver's side bent badly that a tire could not be replaced on it.  Several other parts of the car were badly damaged.  Since they were on the way to the dump, they were carrying my dad's dump pots, one full of rice, the other beans.  Karol and Kelin stated that it was raining beans and rice.  The pots were also badly damaged.

The van that hit Matt flipped.  It was completely totaled.  The 2 or 3 passengers in the van broke bones and one had a concussion.  The driver was fine.  In Matt's car, Karol and Kelin were rattled and had minor swelling in the head and back, but after some tests we knew it was just minor injuries.

Since the wreck happened over a month ago, Matt has spent a lot of time dealing with this problem.  Fortunately, the business where the wreck happened had security cameras that got the wreck on tape.  We thought that would help, so we went and made a copy of the video for evidence. Police do not decide fault at the site of the wreck, nor do the collect evidence in wrecks.  A judge decides fault, and one must provide his own evidence.

The day after the wreck, our lawyer was busy at trying to defend Matt before the court hearing the following day.  At the same time the people of Cafe Indio (the business of those driving the van) were paying people everywhere to say that it was Matt's fault.  Oscar, the lawyer, was doubtful that anything good could happen for Matt until he saw the video, then he thought Matt's chances were much better.

Friday, Matt had his hearing in court.  At first, the judge didn't even want to hear Matt's side of the story.  She just looked at him, saw his white skin, and insisted that it must be his fault.  Finally, Oscar convinced her to see the video.  After she saw the video, Matt and my dad both thought she declared Matt 25% of the fault and the other driver 75% of the fault, but she recorded it that Matt had 75% and the other only 25%.

Oscar did something with the problem of the wreck while we were in the States.  And when my mom picked us up in the airport, she told Matt that he needed to be in transito (the department of the police where they deal with wrecks) the next morning.  After this meeting, he thought that he was going to have to miss going to Copan because there was another part of the process the day after they were going to leave.  Oscar told him to go on to Copan; Matt wasn't needed there.  Then Saturday, Matt found out that he was going to have to come home a day early from Copan with a truck that is a similar model to the one he wrecked.  Fortunately, my dad had rented a Mazda truck while his is being repaired that they could use in the reenactment of the wreck.

On Tuesday, Matt spent the morning reenacting the wreck with Oscar, and found out that he would once again need to be in court this morning.  The investigator, who did the reenactment, did not bother to show up to court today.  The judge refused to see the video, and Matt was given 100% of the fault.  My dad asked the judge to explain how it was Matt's fault, to show exactly what he did wrong and pointed out that the other driving was breaking a minimum of THREE driving laws.  She had no answer and just responded it was her decision not his.  (She evidently had been paid off as well.)

This wreck has been very frustrating to everyone.  Matt and my dad refused to sign the papers acknowledging fault, so the eternal process is not over.  It is maddening that people can be so easily bought off, and for so little money.  It is irritating that in court a white person is almost always given the fault because people believe that all white people have an insane amounts of money.  It is annoying that the person who has the fault can so bold-faced lie about everything, and no one holds him accountable.  It is frustrating that the cops who came to the wreck did not have to testify about the wreck which leaves it as Matt's word, a gringo who speaks Spanish as a second language and struggles with it when he is under pressure, and a native Honduran.  SO FRUSTRATING!!

Happy Birthday Fernando

On Tuesday, Fernando turned 10. We have been trying to do something as each kid has a birthday. Generally, we go to the pulperia and let them pick some candy or ice cream and a drink. It provides some special one on one time with each of them.

I gave Fer the option of a pulperia or to Byron's cafe for desert and a drink. He had never been to the cafe before, so that is what he chose. The cake of the day was chocolate, which is always very rich and moist. He chose that plus a granita supreme to drink. The granita supreme is full of chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cookies along with the iced coffee-milk-sugar combo. Fernando had a few sips of the granita and about half the cake. He very politely asked of he could take the rest home for later.

I enjoyed my time with Fernando and hope that he felt special as we celebrated his birthday.

Haley and Bible Class

From the time we moved to Costa Rica until recently, Haley HATED Bible class. She always cried when it was time for class. Seeing a teacher outside of class caused her to go into a panic After we moved to Honduras, Haley made a transformation in Bible class from scared baby to class bully. Although she is one of the youngest, she is also one of the strongest. Before class we had to give her the ten commandments of Haley... No biting, no pushing, no hitting, no screaming, etc. However, I always got bad reports from the teachers. She had hit or stolen a chair from another child. The list goes on.
About a month ago, we started hearing good reports. She participated. She was kind to the others. She didn't cry. Sunday when the little kid class came to sing, Haley did not sing, but she did the motions of the song. When I picked her up, they told me that she even said her Bible verse. The rest of the day, she quoted the verse she learned in class.
Below is a picture of Haley doing the motions in front of everyone.

Antonio

When Matt and I were in the States, Antonio was playing soccer with Fernando when he fell and broke his tibia. He had to have a surgery and now has a rod in his leg. For a week he could do almost nothing, but for the following couple of weeks he tried hard to do nothing but watch movies. This afternoon it wasn't raining in Santa Ana (a sharp contrast to my time in the city this afternoon) so the kids were outside playing. Most had joined in a soccer game, even Antonio. He was on his crutches in one spot, but if the ball came his way he would pass it with his crutches. It made me smile to actually see him up and around this afternoon.

RAINS POUR DOWN

Today as I left teleton, it was raining one of those torrential downpours that I've always imagined Noah having to be in. Haley, Fernando, Guadalupe and I were all soaked just going to the car. The windshield wipers were going fullblast. Water was rapidly flowing out of every drainage pipe we past and just as fast down the mountains the road I was on, which is a major highway in Honduras, was really more like a river. Part of me was wondering when we were just going to float away. As soon as I saw th conditions of the road, I prayed that we would make it home safely. PRAISE GOD we did.

ADONIS

Adonis is 9.  He is brilliant, but easily bores in school.  His mom didn't really lay down any rules for him, and didn't do anything if he didn't go to school.  He finished first grade, but in second grade, she called IHNFA (Honduran DHS) and asked them to come take her son because he was uncontrolable.  Given, she did nothing to try to control him.  And now he is here.

Adonis lives in the house with the babies, and the little kids.  He is older and acts out a lot trying to get any attention he can.  He feels insanely rejected in his life.  His own mother didn't want him anymore and he hadn't even completed his 8th birthday.  I imagine he feels like if his mom doesn't want him, how could anyone.

Adonis steals everything he can get his hands on.  He is a chronic liar.  He destroys things around the house.  He won't do his homework.  He is stubborn.  He has almost been expelled from school.  Yet somehow, Adonis has worked his way into my heart.  I love him and pray for the best for him.  I have taken on the task of working with him, his sister Guadalupe, and Fernando on afternoon homework.  Mirian has her hands full with the babies and little ones, and Pamela, 14, was being left to supervise the homework.  I thought that was very unfair to Pamela.

Homework with the 3 of them, especially Guadalupe and Adonis I am sure is more painful at times than ripping off your toenails one by one, but I also feel (and hope) that I am making somewhat of a difference to them.  They are getting a little more attention. 

Please pray that God can use me to make a difference.  Also, pray that we can find a psychologist to work with Adonis on a weekly basis.  Really, we need a psychologist for almost all of our children.  Pray that will happen in the near future.  All of these kids have had a lot of pain in their lives.

WHEW!! I'M GLAD THIS ONE IS OVER!!

This morning started out better than usual.  Haley woke up at 5:30, but my mom entertained her until about 6:30, so I got an hour extra of sleep after going to bed really early last night due to a power outage and the lack of desire to sit in the dark with no computer, no tv, and no one to talk to.  What an awesome day I thought this was going to be.

About 5 minutes before 8 when I was supposed to be up at CdE because I was really needed up there.  I said to tell her that I was on my way.  I got up there to the frenzy of kids trying to finish up chores and work on their insane amounts of homework.  (The teachers were all striking today because they have not been getting paid.  When they strike they provide the students with INSANE amounts of busywork.  For example the 4th graders are having to write from 10,000 to 15,000.  They have already written from 1-10,000 since school started in February.)

I came in, and my mom begins telling me that Karen, Dorian, and Korbin are all sick so Karen was not going to be working today except for the two hours of visitation.  That became quite the kink in our already complicated schedule.

Every other Friday, my mom and Matt go to the produce market to buy everything needed for the two houses here at Casa de Esperanza.  Every Friday, I go to a class at Teleton with two of our girls that have learning disabilities, except the last Friday of the month because that is the Friday where they have a visitation with their moms.  Haley usually goes with me to Teleton.  Today fell visitation and market day, which generally is fine, because I stay here and help Karen with the visitation, and Matt helps my mom at the market.  Last Friday, I found out that there was a REQUIRED MEETING at Teleton during the time of visitation where children were not permitted.  We all knew that would put us in a bind, but a managable one.

At one point, we planned that my mom would go to the market of a morning, and I would leave for my meeting at 1:30, meet her in town and give her Haley.  Well, yesterday, the mechanic came over and said he would be working on my car all day today.  Both cars could not have been used even if both of us had been able to leave at the same time.  My engine was in many parts outside of the car when I left.  My couldn't have gone to the market regardless though with Karen being sick.

The plan was this: leave CdE at 10:30, get to market at 11:30, 1 hour for Rosa to gather everything, leave the market at 12:30, get to Teleton at 1:00, eat lunch, go to meeting at 1:30, get out at 4:30, and be home by 6:00.  Why do I even make plans??  I live in Honduras, and NOTHING ever goes according to a plan. 

The market was a very plesant experience, although I left with only 10 minutes to get through traffic for the meeting.  I don't have to go and figure out prices at the market as most do.  Rosa works with us to help us.  I simply give her the list, and she goes all over the market gathering the food that we need.  It was so nice to see her; I hadn't seen her since November, and she did not even know I am pregnant.  While she was busy gathering, I decided to eat some lunch.  Lunch at the national market is always delicious, fresh, and much of a cultural experience.  For $2, I bought a pincho, which is much like a shish-ka-bob.  It is a stick layered with meats and veggies.  Also, on my plate, I had beans and rice, chismol, mixed veggies, and 2 tortillas.

I got to Teleton at what appeared to be 15 minutes late by my watch, but evidently, I was 15 minutes early on the Honduran clock.  The meeting that was to start at 1:30 and end at 4:30 started 30 minutes late and ended 30 minutes late.  I was so tired at bored when I got out of that meeting.  I was ready to pick up my hot and ready pizza, get my mom's house and RELAX. 

About 2 seconds after I got home, my mom informed me that Reina, Maryuri, and Josue found a small bottle of gasoline, and DRANK IT.  Almost immediately, they were given water and milk which helped rinse out their insides.  The water and milk mad all three throw up A LOT.  My mom, Karen, and I all agreed that they should be seen by a doctor in the ER.

We first went to the one here in Ojojona.  That is never a good experience.  They always want to admit you for cualquier cosa.  The doctor in the emergency room recommended that the three get a chest x-ray to ensure that no gasoline was in the lungs.  I called my mom, and she and sleeping Haley made their way to my car, and we headed to a clinic in the city.

Five minutes into our trip into the city, Reina tells me she has to pee.  I told her to hold it, but a few minutes after that, she had to go so bad she was crying.  I explained to her how she would go on the side of the road.  I opened both the drivers door and passenger door so she could go in between them, then I held her hands to brace her.  As she finished her pee, Maryuri tells me that she too needs to pee.  I turn to see her wearing footed pajamas and rain boots.  I just looked at her not knowing exactly how she was going to not get pee everywhere.  Finally I decided to hold her hand and her pajamas at the same time so thet didn;t get wet.

Right before we got to the doctor, Reina and Maryuri both had to pee again.  This time Maryuri was crying for her need to pee.  Josue peed in the car after he fell asleep while we were driving, but all three of them had to pee before they could see a doctor. 

The kids were all very nervous, and certain they would get shots.  However, the doctor was gentile with them.  He did not really see a need to the X-Rays, so after a short physical for each, we were headed back home. 

All 4 kids were asleep when we got back here to Santa Ana.  Todnight, prayers were heard and our gas guzzlers are well.  Hoping their little tummies feel better tomorrow.  I'm also hoping for a day tomorrow that is not filled with so much craziness.

Haley's prayers

Haley's prayers have become a huge sense of enjoyment in our family.  She usually wants to pray in Spanish, not English, but that is ok because God understands them both.  She always thanks God for the food several times.  Last night she thanked God for both me and my mom about 5 times saying; 'Gracias por Grammy, gracias por Grammita.  Gracias por mami, Gracias por Mamita."  Then when she mentioned Poppy and Daddy, she needed to remind God that they are not here.  Then she started thanking God for her dog, and her dogs collar and the door.  It is so sweet to here her pray, and I pray that she grows up to love and honor God in her life.

Anemic? I thought it was just my work load

I went to a new doctor today.  It was my first time this pregnancy to see and OBGYN.  I had been going to an Internist who had seen my mom during her hospital stay in November.  Dr. Simon knows all about babies and delivery and such, but he felt it would be better if for the last couple months I saw an OBGYN in case any problems arouse. 

So today, instead of Dr. Simon, I went to see Dr. Garcia.  I handed him the results to all of my lab work.  He told me almost everything was on a normal level except that the amount of iron in my blood is low.  He asked if I have been feeling tired lately, and I responded, "Of course, I'm 7 months pregnant and work 10-12 hour days every day on top of chasing my own daughter around."  That would make anyone tired.  He laughed and gave me some iron so that maybe I will feel a little less tired and definately will feel less weak.

One really nice thing about seeing the doctor here during pregnancy, is that you get an ultrasound every single time.  Baby Emma is very healthy.  If she was born today, she would weigh about 3 lbs. She is growing as she should, and there are no evident problems. 

The nicest part about seeing Dr. Simon was that he saw me for no charge simply because he really respects my family.  Since Dr. Garcia does not know me, I knew I would be charged.  I was charged a whopping $35 to see the doctor, get an ultrasound, and get some iron pills.  Not bad I say.

Today, I am 29.5 weeks pregnant, and very excited to meet this baby.  Both Dr. Simon and Dr. Garcia believe that I will be able to have this baby without having to endure another C-section.  Let's pray to God that is so.

STUCK

Last night we went to feed Tibbie.  Evidently, this is becoming quite the adventure for us, feeding the dog.  Normally, Matt parks on the pad by the outdoor kitchen, and we are usually in our Mitsubishi 4X4.  Last night we were in a Toyota Hiace which is a narrow, low to the ground van.  There has been 10 inches of rain this week alone.  Matt pulled towards the pad and felt the wheels spinning.  he decided he was going to go ahead and turn it around rather than get stuck.  He got mostly turned around, but there was mud everywhere, and the front wheels got stuck in it pulling back on to the path out of the property.  I went on in to feed the dog and look at Haley's newly painted room.  When I got done inside the house, he had called Richard, who came to tow the van out of the mud.  Thank God we have good friends that can help us.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Last night, I went to feed my dog at my house.  We have been staying at my parents house while some construction has been going on there.  Right after I got out of the car, I slipped in some mud and fell to the ground.  That was probably the springboard for my day today.

When I fell, I knew immediately that my legs were sore.  A few minutes later I realized that my belly was hurting, but not too badly, and that my back hurt pretty badly.  I came back to my parents changed, and tried my hardest not to move at all off of the couch.  At bed time, I spent about 45 minutes trying my hardest to get into a comfortable possition, but with an aching back and a beldging belly, it just wasn't going to happen.  Not in the bed anyway.  So I moved to the couch.  That was a little better, but I still was restless all night.

Mirian took a day of vacation, and I had agreed to go to her house at 5:45.  Her house in the morning could make anyone crazy with three in diapers, several who can't sit still or listen, and 3 that have to eat, brush teeth and do chores before leaving for school.

I finished in time to shower and show up late for preschool.  Both my first and second choices for breakfast were gone, so I did what any logical grown-up would do...I cried.

I went to preschool class, and no one wanted to listen.  Any kept telling me no any time I told her to do something.  Haley told me she didn't hear me.  Josue threw everything he could touch across the room in a temper tantrum. 

After preschool, I hurried to get myself and Haley fed and changed.  I ended up not changing because the only pair of jeans I could find were the ones covered with mud.  Haley did not really care that I was running late and in a hurry.  She was not.  She took her time with everything.

Teleton was the normal run of boring.  When we got home, I headed up to work on homework with Lupita, Fernando, and Adonis.  I don't know why I decided to make this a daily habit.  It is really more of a self-inflicted punishment to try to do homework with Adonis and Lupita.  At 6:00 I finally sent Adonis back to his house saying he couldn't eat until his homework was done.  It isn't that he isn't smart.  He is one of the brightest kids we have.  He just refused to work.  He didn't even have that much homework.

I realize, none of this is major or sounds that bad.  Really, a bad night's sleep combined with insane pregnancy hormones make several small events each seem like its own crisis.  Sorry to bore all 3 of you that read my blog with my whining, tomorrow will be better.

El Torneo de Amistad

On Monday, a teacher at Teleton asked if her church's youth group could come out today to play soccer with the kids.  The same group came out in October, and our kids really connected with them.  We asked that they did not bring gifts this time, and they agreed.

Right on time at 2:00 the group arrived.  Our little kids were tired, many had just gone to sleep when the group got there, but they were allowed to wake up to participate with the group.  Pom poms were made for all of the kids and most of the youth group too.  Then 4 soccer teams were formed so the kids could have a tournament.  A few in the youth group were on each team.

They wanted all of the kids to feel very special.  Each game they either made one of the littlest kids or one of the kids that needed the most attention to be the capitain.  On the sidelines, all of the kids were waving their pom poms and chanting for both teams on the field, which really encouraged everyone playing.

At the end of the tounament, everyone got medals.  All the kids on the two teams that did not win plus our kids such as Yair and Doris who did not play soccer received a 3rd place medal.  The team that one one game got silver place medals.  And finally, the all girls team that won both games received the gold medal.  While the medals were home made, the kids wore them with pride.  Many, even after their showers, wore their medals with their pajamas.

After the tournament, and the medal presentation, the group pulled out a guitar and sang a couple of songs for the kids.  Also, the group learned a song in sign language specifically for Rosy.  I was touched that they would all learn that just for one girl.  Many times, because so many of us don't know sign, there are not many special things just for her.  To finish the afternoon, cake and drinks were served to everyone.

Guadalupe cheering

Sisi, Cris, and Jackson in the soccer game

Most of the kids with the youth group

Yair, the cutest fan

Olman came out to watch

So did Josue