One night, Matt reminded me to be careful how touch these boys. I wasn’t thinking anything of holding them and letting them sit in my lap. These boys have been mistreated sexually, and most or possibly all of them have at least seen sexual activity firsthand. I want these kids to learn to respect girls and women, and I want to teach the girls to demand respect from boys and men.
Sometimes, I get so angry at the people who stole the sexual innocence from these kids. They don’t know how to experience pure, non-sexual touch that shows love. Pamela reminded me as she prayed on Sunday night to have a forgiving heart. She, who was used by her mother as a child prostitute and was unable to come home until she had a certain amount of money, prayed that God would take good care of her mother. She reminded me to forgive the people who are hardest to forgive.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Summer School: Lessons I will never forget
This summer has brought about a new learning experience almost every day. I have grown and been stretched and challenged in many new ways. While many of my daily activities I have are routine, the conversations and little special moments have been priceless. While working here at this children’s home, God has used each child to teach me something different. I have learned about forgiveness, grace, and patience. I have also been taught through situations here that when things go wrong, it is not always my fault. Lastly, God has taught me that each of his children needs to be loved differently.
God used Pamela this summer to teach me a lot about forgiveness. Pamela turned 10 this summer. Before she came to this family, her mother forced her to walk the streets as a child prostitute. She was not allowed back into her house until she made 500 Lempiras, which is on average about 5 days wages here in Honduras. She has been with more men than most people have sex in their lifetime. She has been hurt a lot in her life by men and by her mother who forced her to do this horrible thing. I said all of that to explain how what she did taught me so much about forgiveness. Once night before bed as we were praying, she prayed that God would take care of her mom and show her love. This broke my heart because she prayed so sincerely for the person who caused her so much pain. I have been praying since than that I can have as a forgiving heart as sweet Pamela. What a powerful lesson God taught me through a ten year old child.
God used Luvin to teach me about grace. Luby came here near the end of May. He had been beaten his entire life, so when eh got here all he knew was to hit the other children, and he did not hit softly. He had to be taken back to the state-run orphanage because the other fifteen kids were terrified of him. Two or three weeks later, he found his way back her to Casa de Esperanza with a repentant heart and fruit for all of the children. The children, instead of rejecting Luby, invited him to come back and be a part of their family. He did not deserve their love, nor did he deserve their warm embrace and welcome back, but the kids gave it to him anyway. This taught me a lot about God because I so often do things that are against what he commands or against his will, but he always shows grace to me, forgives me, invites me into his family, and welcomes me with open arms.
God has used Cindy time and time again to teach me about the importance of patience, and time and time again, I have learned that I need more of it. Cindy has been raped and sexually abused a lot in her life. She is only four. Every time she feels slightly out of control, she throws the worst fits of anyone I have ever seen. She hits kicks, bites, screams and scratches. Bedtime and naptime are even worse than during the rest of the day. We are not allowed to spank here and the government could close us down, so we are always looking for new ways to punish her and we have yet to find a punishment that works for her. I have learned to be patient even through the hitting. I have also learned to love her though and some things I can say to her to calm her down. The place she lived at before she came here said she was the spawn of Satan. I do not believe that she is the spawn of Satan, but she indeed has tried my patience and God has used her to help me daily gain more patience.
God used Fito, Luby, Brayan, and Rudy to teach me that when things go wrong, it is not always my fault. These four decided to run away on two different occasions. Both times, I felt so much guilt and thought it was my fault. Through prayer and the gentle reminder of my husband, I learned that I was crazy to but that much blame on myself. I learned through each of these situations that I must accept the blame when it is truly my fault but not put an extra burden on myself when I could not have helped the situation.
Finally, God has used each of these children to teach me that each person gives and receives love in a different way. Some of the kids love to be hugged and held. Others feel especially loved when someone plays outside with them. Some feel loved when they are told that they are special. This summer, I have worked at learning how to show each of these kids that they are special and that they are loved. This has also showed me the glory of God because he is able to know how each person in the world needs to be loved, and he shows us all that special love.
This summer has been a blessing. I feel that God has used these sixteen precious angel eyes to teach me far more than I could have ever taught them. They have each been through some traumatic situation far more than I can even imagine, yet God has used each of them to instill in to me some very important lesson.
God used Pamela this summer to teach me a lot about forgiveness. Pamela turned 10 this summer. Before she came to this family, her mother forced her to walk the streets as a child prostitute. She was not allowed back into her house until she made 500 Lempiras, which is on average about 5 days wages here in Honduras. She has been with more men than most people have sex in their lifetime. She has been hurt a lot in her life by men and by her mother who forced her to do this horrible thing. I said all of that to explain how what she did taught me so much about forgiveness. Once night before bed as we were praying, she prayed that God would take care of her mom and show her love. This broke my heart because she prayed so sincerely for the person who caused her so much pain. I have been praying since than that I can have as a forgiving heart as sweet Pamela. What a powerful lesson God taught me through a ten year old child.
God used Luvin to teach me about grace. Luby came here near the end of May. He had been beaten his entire life, so when eh got here all he knew was to hit the other children, and he did not hit softly. He had to be taken back to the state-run orphanage because the other fifteen kids were terrified of him. Two or three weeks later, he found his way back her to Casa de Esperanza with a repentant heart and fruit for all of the children. The children, instead of rejecting Luby, invited him to come back and be a part of their family. He did not deserve their love, nor did he deserve their warm embrace and welcome back, but the kids gave it to him anyway. This taught me a lot about God because I so often do things that are against what he commands or against his will, but he always shows grace to me, forgives me, invites me into his family, and welcomes me with open arms.
God has used Cindy time and time again to teach me about the importance of patience, and time and time again, I have learned that I need more of it. Cindy has been raped and sexually abused a lot in her life. She is only four. Every time she feels slightly out of control, she throws the worst fits of anyone I have ever seen. She hits kicks, bites, screams and scratches. Bedtime and naptime are even worse than during the rest of the day. We are not allowed to spank here and the government could close us down, so we are always looking for new ways to punish her and we have yet to find a punishment that works for her. I have learned to be patient even through the hitting. I have also learned to love her though and some things I can say to her to calm her down. The place she lived at before she came here said she was the spawn of Satan. I do not believe that she is the spawn of Satan, but she indeed has tried my patience and God has used her to help me daily gain more patience.
God used Fito, Luby, Brayan, and Rudy to teach me that when things go wrong, it is not always my fault. These four decided to run away on two different occasions. Both times, I felt so much guilt and thought it was my fault. Through prayer and the gentle reminder of my husband, I learned that I was crazy to but that much blame on myself. I learned through each of these situations that I must accept the blame when it is truly my fault but not put an extra burden on myself when I could not have helped the situation.
Finally, God has used each of these children to teach me that each person gives and receives love in a different way. Some of the kids love to be hugged and held. Others feel especially loved when someone plays outside with them. Some feel loved when they are told that they are special. This summer, I have worked at learning how to show each of these kids that they are special and that they are loved. This has also showed me the glory of God because he is able to know how each person in the world needs to be loved, and he shows us all that special love.
This summer has been a blessing. I feel that God has used these sixteen precious angel eyes to teach me far more than I could have ever taught them. They have each been through some traumatic situation far more than I can even imagine, yet God has used each of them to instill in to me some very important lesson.
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