Whirlwind of Emotions

Right now, I feel so many emotions, that there is no good word to describe it.

• I am so excited that in three weeks, I get to make a visit to Honduras, but
• I know that it will be very difficult to leave at the end of our time there.
• I am happy that most of my friends here are able to leave and go to their field, but
• I am very sad because I will miss them very much, and jealous because I long to be heading to the field as well.
• I am thankful for this opportunity to learn Spanish, but frustrated with the amount I get wrong (That is why I am here learning).
• I'm annoyed that it seems like everyone is complaining about this, that, and the other, but
• I suppose I am not doing anything different right now.
• I feel that Matt and I would be useful working in Honduras this summer, but I know we cannot this year.

I am trying to be content in all situations, but sometimes when I long to be somewhere that I am not, it is very difficult.  Please pray that God will help me be content in all situtations.  I have a great support system, and great friends and family.  I am blessed with a great church that stands behind us, and they are supporting us.  Therefore, although I have days when I that are frustrating and hard, I am greatful for the people in my life that stand behind me and encourage me.  Moreover, I am greatful to God for allowing us the opportunity to be here in this country and to build relationships with our church family here.

Why do they give her cookies??

I am consistantly amazed at the amount of food my little girl can acquire in the short time between the worship service ends and the time class begins.  Yesterday, she got 3 or 4 cookies (all from different people), a cup of mangos that someone brought specificly for her, and a few swigs of some lady's grape juice.  Unlike the States I am never asked if it is ok that they load my little girl up with sugar.  I also wander if they think that we don't feed the child.  She always comes to church loaded with juice, cherios, and usually crackers also.  Some weeks anyone that is eating a snack shares theirs with Haley.  I promise that Haley is not begging for it; they just think she is cute and precious and want to share their snacks with her.  While many times I wish that everyone would keep their snacks to themselves (Haley gets enough cookies), I am very thankful that people at our church love her so much that they desire to share what they have with her.  She is a friendly little girl, and everyone loves her.  Therefore, even if everyone at the church gives Haley cookies when I am not paying attention, I can rejoice with the fact that my daughter is loved. 

Homemade Pizza

Matt and I have been looking for ways to cut costs.  We had been eating out once a week, but when money is tight, that is what always goes.  However, we both love pizza and that is usually our "out once a week."  There is no D'Giorno here, so we decided that instead we would make our own pizza.  The baker up the street has what I call "Dollar Dough."  You can get enough dough for a good size pizza for 400 colones which actually is about $0.80.  This is a lot easier and quicker than making dough.  My job was to work the dough and flatten it for the pizza.  Matt wanted to put the ingrediants on the pizza.  Matt did not take this task lightly.  Therefore, this pizza was more filling than most.  We decided this would be a new weekly tradition for us, at least as long as we live in Costa Rica.

Encouraged by Our Church Family

A couple weeks ago at church, some people asked us if the visitation committee could come by to get to know us better.  It didn't seem that we had an option, and we said ok.  On Tuesday, Juan Carlos called to tell me they would be here today "at 3:00 more or less."  When he said 3:00 more or less, I fully expected for them to not show utnil 3:30 or 4:00, and I also fully expected them to stay a minimum of 2 hours.  I was assured that I didn't need to prepare anything, so I didn't.  Since Matt and I were expecting them to show up late and to stay long, we were getting things ready for dinner to throw in the oven once they left.  I really needed a little bit of flour, so at 2:45 I was going to walk to the store to get what I needed.  The second I opened my gate, I saw 3 cars driving in my direction and Juan Carlos, rolled his window and said "Good afternoon, sister, where can we park."  Shocked that they showed up early (that just doesn't happen in Central America), and a little embarassed that my bathroom was still dirty, I turned around, opened the gate, and welcomed everyone to my home. 

While we joked earlier today about the welcoming committee waiting until we had been here 8 months to welcome us and if they waited much longer they could have welcomed us and told us goodbye at the same time, we ended up being very encouraged by this meeting.  Fortunately, Costa Ricans do not have the same personal space issues and we were all able to sit in the living room area.  This area in total is about 10 ft X 8 ft.  We sang a few songs, and several people told us how blessed they are to have us here in their country.  Several people mentioned how great it is that people of different cultures can come together and worship the same God.  They also commented on how much better our Spanish has gotten, which was a huge encouragement.  It was also encouraging to hear that they thought of us as a part of their family and hoped that we thought of them the same way.  A few people have heard about the frustrations we had with this church in the fall, but part of this was due to being overwhelmed by the amount of Spanish and not understanding so much that was said.  We know go to church as often as we can and feel that we are in fact a part of this church family.  Praise God for giving us brothers and sisters wherever we go in the world.

Sometimes we say funny things in Spanish

The other day in Matt's class they were talking about extreme sports.  Matt wanted to say that he would never climb a mountain without ropes (sin cuerdas) but instead he announced to the class that he would not want to climb a mountain with out clothes (sin ropa).  For the rest of the week the class joked about Matt climbing mountains without his clothes.  We all mess up and say silly things sometimes.  Please share with us a funny thing that you have said (in English or in another language), and remember that sharing your thoughts with us allows you to enter in the drawing for some free Costa Rican coffee.  We love to hear from you.

Kids Don't Know They Cannot Make A Difference

Many times as adults, we think we are alway needing more.  We never think that we have enough resources in order to make a difference in the life of others.  The things we want are frequently more important to us than meeting other's needs.  Kids, however, are different.  They don't think there are limits to what they can do.  They still believe that what they do makes a difference in the lives of others.  Kids push the limits as much as they can when it comes to giving.

Our church from Baton Rouge is sending out a container to go to Honduras in the next couple of months.  My mother-in-law, who has never stepped foot in Honduras, decided she would do what she could at Parkview Baptist where she teaches.  With the help of the Ellises and the Hughbrights she gathered pictures and put together a slide show to encourage the kids to bring back packs, school supplies and other things to put on the container.  She was somewhat worried about this because she so badly desired that the kids take the living conditions in Honduras seriously.  After her presentation, the kids at Parkview were excited to help.  Below, I will tell of two touching situations that happened from what Cheryl shared with the kids.

Immediately after the presentation that day, a couple boys came to her and said "Mrs. Fitz, we want to give you all of the money we have on us."  They each gave about $2.  Today, a sweet girl came to Cheryl and told her she had been thinking of the best way she could spend her birthday money, and after the presentation, she decided that giving her $50 to help the kids in Honduras was the absolute best way she could use her money.

I am greatful for kids and adults alike who still believe they can make a difference in this world.

FREE COSTA RICAN COFFEE

We love sharing with people about our ministry.  It brings us joy to share with you our triumphs, and comfort to share with you our trials.  Also, we would love to hear more o your thoughts.  We are so encouraged when people respond to our thoughts with words of encouragement or funny stories that relate to our life stories.  It makes us feel a little closer to home when we hear from you.  Therefore, we are going to do a drawing for you to receive a bag of fresh Costa Rican coffee from the BRIT coffee plantation.  Here is how you can enter the drawing:

1.  Read our blog.
2.  Make a comment about it either on the blog or on facebook
3.  Continue commenting because I will put each comment into a drawing.

We will do the drawing aftter there have been 1,000 new page views or May 1 (whichever comes first).  Thank you for reading our blog, but thank you even more for praying for our ministry.

Bouganvillas are Trees??

As we walk around here, we see all sorts of plants here that I never would have guessed that when planted in their natural environment they would grow to become trees as tall as houses.  One of the plants that surprised me the most was the bouganvillas.  I worked in a garden store for the year and a half that we lived in Baton Rouge, and thought most of these plants were just seasonal and never got much bigger than what a hanging basket could hold.  I remember telling people that they don't like much water and lots of heat.  Evidently, however, they thrive in moderate temperatures where over half of the year rain is dumped on top of them.  Ten to fifteen foot bouganvilla trees are everywhere with thier pink or red blooms spilling over peoples gates and on top of their roofs.  Other plants that grow into trees that only are houseplants in the states are poinsettias and crotons.  Who knew?

As I was marvelling over how these house plants thrive as trees in their natural environment, it got me thinking about how many missionaries plant churches.  Many timese in a new church plant, the missionary desires to make a replica of the church they are familiar with.  There is nothing culturally relevant about these churches, and the people of the new culture never really thrive as Christians in their American style church.  In fact, trying to raise a plant out of its natural environment, it only lasts a season, but raising a plant in its natural habitat, it will thrive and flourish for many years.  Similarly, a church that is planted in a foriegn culture that is created to be a western church will only last for a season.  It will not be able thrive without being culturally relevant.  What do I mean by culturally relevant?  I do not mean that I desire to incorporate sycritism in order to have a relevant church, but I mean a church that incorporates the styles of teaching and learning of the people in which we are tryinig to reach.  I mean taking time to learn from the people how they communicate, what their values are, and what is offensive to them.  I mean having churches where the missionary is only behind the scenes, but never the leader of the church.  If a missionary is always the leader of the church, how will a church ever survive without the missionary?  Spreading the gospel should not be about deep theology and Western idea; however it should be something that any person in any church can replicate.  Many people outside of the states cannot read, yet we present them the Bible as written word when they understand things much better in the oral tradition.

These are very deep thoughts to stem from a bouganvilla tree and poinsettia tree.  However, I think it is very important that instead of trying to replicate a plant that is natural in one environment, but will not thrive in another, we must instead learn to grow plants that will thrive in the environment in which we plant them.

Orosi

Friday was a free day from school.  Many people decide to not go through the visa process, and for that reason they are required to leave by 90 days to renew their visas.  The school provides a free day to make it easier for students to take their visa trips.  We however, went to the Valle de Orosi which is about 1 hour and a half from San Jose.  We went with several other families from school.  As much of Costa Rica, Orosi is a place that you cannot miss God's glory and beauty.  Everything is lush and green.  Coffee plants are everywhere and in the mountains there are trees called "fire on the mountain."  These trees have beautiful orange blooms.  The big attraction in Orosi is the naturally heated pools.  They are heated by the volcanic activity, however they are not as warm as you might think.  One pool was about 110 degrees, and some of the others were more like bath water.  One pool even, was ice cold.  On Friday, we all swam and visited with our friends and had fun with the kids in the pool.  The kids ranged in age from 6 months to 14 years, and altogether there was 25-30 kids.  Haley was the littlest one to swim.  Saturday, Matt and I went with some of the group to another set of pools and had lunch in town.  Some friends rode horses right by these pools.  We even got a picture of Haley on a horse.

The evenings were relaxing at a quiet little hotel. On the property of the hotel there was a soccer field where the kids played. Those of us that stayed at our hotel enjoyed fine Italian dining. Matt was very excited to enjoy a steak. Saturday night we all did kareoke. I'm sure all would agree that I am the world's worst singer, but at least I had fun. This morning we had worship with our friends before we left. It was a very casual time of singing and testemony with a time of prayer at the end. This weekend was very refreshing to get out of the grime of the city, be in the middle of God's glorious creation, and enjoy time with several friends.

Haley sitting on the horse before her friends go for a ride

The view from our room

Haley having fun in one of the warm pools

Proud of Matt

Matt does not like to brag, but I like to brag about him.  I want to tell you about the vast improvements he has made in Spanish.  When he got here in August, he knew a few nouns and esentially no verbs.  His Spanish was much like how Haley speaks now - just one or two words at a time and a lot of pointing.  He could get his point across about what he wanted or needed, but no one would have said he spoke Spanish.  Daily he made improvements here and there, but in the last few weeks, something clicked in his brain and things are coming together very well for him.  His teachers and his tutor of all mentioned this week that they have noticed a HUGE improvement in his speaking.  One teacher was especially complementary of his speaking ability.  Yesterday, he was required to give a 2 hour Bible study.  He did not have to speak the whole time, for there was a lot of discussion, but he did have to be prepared to make commentary to responses and to ask questions to his classmate.  If you talk to Matt he would tell you that his biggest fear of going on the mission field was learning Spanish.  Day by day, he faces his fears and he is learning to do something he thought was impossible.  However, with God, all things are possible.  Lets give Matt a pat on the back.

Haley wanted to cook dinner tonight

This afternoon, after Haley woke up from a nap, she was sitting in her chair having a snack.  Matt said to her "When you are done with your snack to you want to play?"  Normally, she says "play park."  Today she shook her head no.  I asked her if she would like to sleep.  Again, she shook her head no.  Matt then asked her if she would like to cook.  To which she smiles and yells, "COOK!!"  We laughed and asked her what she was going to cook.  She is learning new words all of the time, and she repeats a lot of words.  Matt asked her about a few things that she might cook and she kept saying no.  Then he said are you going to cook beans, to which she responded "BEAS!"  Matt asked, "Well are you going to make rice?"  Haley said "ICE!"  Then she said "CHEESE!"  So if Haley had cooked our dinner, we would have had beans, rice and cheese and a mess bigger than we could imagine.  She loves beans and rice.  Because of that I suppose it is a good thing we eat a lot of it.  She keeps us laughing.

10 Things you will find at our house

1.   A family who eats 3 meals a day together
2.   A little girl who laughs a lot and loves to make others laugh
3.   No one is home if you were to call between 3-5 pm because we play at the park every afternoon
4.   Spanish books, Spanish music, Spanish papers and Spanish vocabulary sheets
5.   After Haley goes to bed, Matt and I play JUST DANCE and neither of us is very good.
6.   An American Family that neither has a cell phone or a car, yet manages to get by without either one.
7.   We generally only have a coke in the house on the weekends, but the rest of the time there is water, koolade, or crystal light.
8.   A slightly messy house, but a family that loves to spend time doing things together
9.   The world's most uncomfortable couch
10.  No hot water to do the dishes (we have to boil it) and only luke warm water for shower

Whatever is true...

This week in class we are talking about means of communication.  One type of communication is television and movies.  It communicates the ideas and values common in society.  This discussion lead to how our society has become desynsitized to things we once thought were graphic.  For example, I was about 8 when Ellen came out of the closet.  At that time she had a show on primetime, and parents everywhere, christian and non christian alike were outraged at this news.  Since then, it has become the norm to have a token gay person on a show.  I brought this conversation home to Matt, and we talked a lot about how our watching things on TV that we would never do in real life is in a way approving of bad behavior.  Almost all shows on primetime TV at least mention some of the main characters having sex outside of marriage, make inappropriate jokes, make marriage look dull and boring, and elevate homosexuality.  It is an easy downfall and easy to become accustomed to that which we see on TV.  Matt and I got to talking about how so much of what we watch is not only a bad example for little Haley, but also it simply not good for us to be putting these things in our head. 

Then Matt asked the hard question:  "What do you want to do about it??" I said  "Well I want to keep watching my favorite shows but if I feel convicted that I should put garbage into my head, then if  I continue watching them, I am acting as if I do not care about my convictions."  While there may or may not be anything sinful about watching these shows (matter of opinion), we can read in Philippians 4:8-9:

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Therefore, we are trying to put this verse into practice in every facet of our lives.  In the last few days without the shows we like, we have spent a lot more time talking and enjoying other people as well.  This is not an easy task for us because we like to watch TV and just veg out and relax our minds at night. 

A house full of guests

Right now is spring break for Abeline Christian University.  Some students from there are in Honduras with my dad, and another group of them is here in CR working with our church for the week.  Last week, I told Ronald that I wanted to have the group and his family over to our house to eat.  All together there were 24 of us in o ur little 600 sq foot house.  Fortunately, there is a parking area in front of the apartment.  I made two huge pots of gumbo, and what I thought was a ton of rice.  The rice and the first pot of gumbo was demolished very quickly.  Honestly, I have never seen food go so fast, even when we brought the gumbo to the homeless of Baton Rouge.  We also had some delicious Oreo cake from MusMani, the local bakery.  We enjoyed talking with the students from ACU and they knew the only 2 people we know that go there, Chris Shim and Jordan Ellis.

After dinner, some girls were trying to teach Alejandra and Luis how to do the Texas two-step.  Alejandra loves to dance, but said country music was the worst music she has ever heard.  A while later, other girls discovered that we had just dance so everyone piled in our living room and played.  I don't think that a single one of the men could dance, even the Costa Rican men.  We all laughed hysterically, especially when Ronald the preacher tried to dance.  The other funny dancer was Esteban, Ronald's son.  As soon as he realized he had no chance against his sister, he just started moving as fast as he could doing nothing that resembled the dance.

We laughed throughout the night.  We love having people in our home, and I am pretty sure that the college students welcomed the break from having meals where their host family doesn't understand anything they are saying.  Most people would say that a small 2 bedroom apartment is not big enough to entertain so many people.  I beg to differ.  We were all thouroughly entertained.

Ministry is medicine for the soul

By 10:00 this morning, all I wanted was for this day to be overwith and to wake up and start anew tomorrow.  I woke up sad and in a cranky mood.  Today is the anniversary of my big brother Ryan's death.  He died 11 years ago and every year it is still hard, but I love remembering him and hope that Ryan never goes away from my memory.  Matt and I both were snippy with each other this morning (I may have been griping at him for everything and he may have been reacting to how I was treating him).  Then sometime after breakfast Matt was cleaning the kitchen and I was getting ready to shower when we heard something in Haley's room crash.  We walked in to find the chest of drawers on top of her.  I was relieved to find nothing was broken, although I thought her nose was.  Haley was sore all day and a little grumpy but not bad.  We gave her Tylonol and chocolate to help her feel better.  At this point, I was really having a bad day and did not want to see anyone or talk to anyone for the rest of the day.  I just wanted to go to bed and restart in the morning.  However, life doesn't work like that.

Matt and I committed to work with kids on Saturdays.  We spend about 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon with some poor children in a community near by.  As mentioned earlier, I didn't have a great attitude this morning, but since I committed I was going to go because I want to be a person that honors my commitments.  We went with Chuck and Mary (who I wrote about last night), and once we arrived in the village, I felt that the burdens of the day were lifted from me.  I had not even prayed today when I was having such a yucky day.  I calmed down, in the midst of loud noise, and loved the time we spent with these kids.  We talked about the story of Noah's ark.  Of the 6 in my class today, only 1 had ever heard of the story of Noah.  Wow!  Only one person in the class had ever heard of Noah before.  Haley was passed around the older girls who shared their candy with her.  These kids have learned a few Bible songs and sing them several times before the class starts.  We also played some games.  One of which Matt and I were the basketball goals and the boys and girls played each other.  They didn't dribble though.  It was supposed to be passing from one to the other and not ever running with the ball, but it was more like a mob around whoever had the ball trying to rip it out of their hands.  It was quite hilarious to watch.

Tonight after we got home, I was thinking of how many times people become so consumed with their own burdens and worries that they "don't have time" to serve others, but when we listen to God's call and reach out to others, our problems don't seem quite as big.  I pray that this week we will all get out of our comfort zones a bit and serve someone different than us.

Chuck and Mary

Chuck and Mary are a couple here from Florida on their way to Peru.  They are somewhere in between the age of my parents and my grandparents, but they are such special people in our life.  We met them when we arrived to school here in August, and their original plan was to stay a whole year here.  The head of their mission team, however, really needs them in Peru in May.  We love Chuck and Mary, and little Haley loves them like they are her grandparents, especially Chuck.  She will see him and run to him with her arms open and yell CHUCK!!!  (This is one of the words she says really well.)  Tonight the 5 of us took a bus to San Pedro and enjoyed dinner together in the mall and frosties from Wendy's.  Haley got to ride on a motorcycle in the area o th mall with the riding machines.  She laughed the whole time.  We are thankful for all of the friends we have made here in CR, especially Chuck and Mary.  I am so thankful that God always has a way of putting people in our lives.  Chuck and Mary are very unexpected friends considering our age difference, but they were missing their grandbabies, and Haley was missing her grandparents so we all became good friends.

First Night in a Big Girl Bed

When I was two my parents let me sleep in my twin size bed for the first time.  I was so excited that I ran in circles for a long time, and my parents found me sleeping on the carpet where I eventually crashed.  I thought this might be the case when we put her to bed tonight, but this picture was taken just a few minutes after we put her to bed.

Lunch with the ladies

Today after school, a few ladies from class and I took a bus went to the mall of San Pedro for lunch.  Each town has a mall, and the one in San Pedro is 3 stories and on 2 floors there are large food courts.  We ate at a place that was much like Q'doba in the States.  Better than the food was the company.  There were 4 of us in total.  I am so thankful that here in Costa Rica, God has provided me with friends (most of which are leaving in 6 weeks).  One thing I talked about with one friend on the way home was how our husbands just do not understand why we need time with other women.  We don't understand it either, but we know that we do.  We also know that other women make us laugh and encourage us and always provide great conversation.  Today, I am thankful for all of the women in my life.

Transitions

Somewhere along the way, without my noticing, Haley has moved from a sweet compliant baby to a still sweet, but much less compliant toddler.  When we still lived in Baton Rouge, I had a friend that frequently told me that having Haley didn't count as having a child because we could take her anywhere and she would be sweet and happy, and usually she would fall asleep.  Now, haley has transformed into an energetic, active, independent, curious toddler.  On top of that she is very stubborn (she comes by that naturally, I am very stubborn), and she loves to tell us NO!.  She can climb everything and fears nothing.  She frequently tries to run in the middle of soccer games where adult men are playing.  If she is not trying to join a soccer game she is trying to run in the streets.  She has started slapping and pinching and thinks it is very funny. 

We spend much of our time correcting Haley and teaching her that she does not get her way all the time and that throwing temper tantrums only get her into trouble.  I have a friend that always jokes about the 10 Commandments of Isaac, well I feel that we now have the 10 Commandments of Haley. Don't pinch.  Don't pull hair.  Don't slap, especially in the face.  Don't touch mommy's glasses.  Don't run in the street.  Don't throw a temper tantrum.  Don't touch the electrical things.  Don't stand in your chair.  Don't eat trash, sticks, rocks, or dirt.  Don't tell me NO when I tell you to do something.

I know that all of these things are a normal part of toddlerhood.  On top of trying to test us at every moment of the day to be sure that we are consistant, Haley is learning very well to say please and thank you.  Since we were in the states at Christmas, she went from saying only a few words to now saying 60-75 with phrases such as I love you, good girl, big girl, play park, and wash hands (actually she say ash manos).  She is learning the sounds of animals and colors.  Her favorite colors to say are yellow, purple and pink.  Her least favorite to say is green.  She is very good at picking up her toys and clothes.  Sometimes, she cleans up her pile of dirty clothes by putting them in her drawer.  She also likes to help throw things away. 

One other way Haley will be transitioning from a baby to a big girl is that she will be starting to sleep in one of the twin size beds in her room.  She has pretty much out grown her pack and play.  While it is long enough for her, if she moves at all, she is pressed up against the side of the pack and play.

So as little Haley daily transforms and grows, we are faced with her testing us more, but we are also blessed to see her learning and growing.  She smiles all of the time (except of course when she is in trouble), and makes us laugh.  Play for us as we teach Haley that God will give us the wisdom in how to deal with her and discipline her effectively.

My name got called out.

Since I have been in Costa Rica, once a month at church they called out a list of names and gave each person something small.  With the calling of each name, everyone clapped.  I have always been too busy with Haley to realize what they were doing.  Logic would have told me that they were honoring each person for their birthday.  However, sometimes, I am not very logical.  Today, as I was taking Haley out (she just couldn't sit still any longer) my name was called.  I wasn't expecting my name to be called, and I thought surely they are calling another Nicole (of course I am the only Nicole at church).  I stand at the back of the church realizing that everyone now knows I was walking out and Ronald, the preacher says, didn't you have a birthday?  Oh, yes.  I walked up to the front to receive a bag of candy and a blessing of the church.  While this was not big or grand, it made me feel special that my birthday was remembered.  Let's remember that doing little things in life for people are  many times as important as the big ones.

Fun Day with Nana!

Matt's mom arrived to the house around 11 last night.  We woke Haley up just to say hi, but there were still cobwebs in her head, and she didn't know what was happening.  This morning, Haley was actually scared to walk into her bedroom to find someone sleepingin one of the twin size beds.  The fear did not last for long.  Very soon after, she realized that her beloved NANA was the person in her room, and tears quickly turned to laughter and glee.  Immediately, Nana began to empty her suitcase.  It was like Christmas (for Haley anyway).  Nana came with a very cute Easter dress, shoes, socks and lots of new clothes and some books that have Cheryl's voice recorded in them (we call them Nana books).  Evidently, Nana thought that the extra suitcases of spring and summer clothes that we broght home at Christmas would already be worn out.  Or maybe it is just a Nana's joy to buy pretty little outfits.  Haley was already dressed when Nana woke up, but throughout the day, she managed to still wear two of the new outfits.

After everyone was dressed and bathed, we walked a few blocks away for donuts and continued our morning adventure by going to our local fruit market.  Cheryl had never been to an open air fruit market before (unless you count Fresh Pickens in BR), so she was very impressed by everything.  Once we got home, Haley was ready for a nap.

After Haley's nap, we changed her from her clothes that had a combination of park stuff and strawberry milk into a new outfit that Nana brought.  We needed to go get groceries, but we couldn't get ahold of the taxi service so we took a bus.  We prefer riding the buses.  I'm not sure which Cheryl prefers though (she doesn't like the driving here and that is an understatement).  At the store, Cheryl bought us lunch in the food court and then bought our groceries too.

After Haley's second nap (since she was sick, she is still extra tired) we headed off to parque gringo for Haley to play.  Haley is a very good climber, but this made Nana a little bit nervous.  Nana was always right behind her incase she missed a step.  Haley, as always had so much fun at the park.  We came home, and we were all dirty and needed to change before we went out to eat.

We had heard from a couple of our teachers that there was a great Italian restaurant, so we decided to go there.  There are no street signs or marked addresses here so giving a taxi driver the address is always interesting.  I told him we wanted to go 100 meters north of the main church in San Pedro, and he took us 100 meters north of the main church in Zapote.  I looked around and said, we are going to a restaurant near the church of San Pedro.  He said he misunderstood me and whipped us through many turns as fast as he could.  We finally got to the restaurant, and our teachers had provided a great reccomendation for Italian cuisine.  Our waiter brought Haley a little bit of bread dough to play with while we enjoyed our meal.  She only tried to eat the dough a couple of times.

During of the course of the day, Haley wore 3 outfits, 2 sets of pajamas, and 4 pairs of shoes.  I would say she is a diva.

Prayers for Haley

Pray that Haley returns to her happy self very soon

Today, Haley is sick, so she and I stayed home from school, and might stay home again tomorrow..  It is nothing serious, but it is a really bad cold.  We saw the Dr. this morning and came home with a bag full of medicines.  I hate for my little girl to feel sick.  Please pray that she feels better promptly so that she will want to run and play while Cheryl is here.  Cheryl comes tomorrow, and it would be very sad if Haley didn't feel good enough to play with her Nana.  Please spend a few minutes today praying that God will place his healing hand upon her and take away the sickness from her little body.

What would you do if you couldn't provide food for your children?

One thing we must get used to here in Costa Rica, is the beggers.  It is not unusual for someone to come to our gate begging.  Frequently, it is men, and they are asking for money.  One time I gave a man some beans and rice each in a sandwich bag, and we found it thrown on the ground the next day.  We try to pray and try to use discernment when it comes to beggars.  Many times the men want money or something that can be sold to buy drugs.  Today, however, as I heard knocking on the gate, I looked out and saw a mom and two of her children.  The little boy, was 3, but he was smaller than Haley.  I asked her if these were her only two and she said, no I have three more at home.  Her five children range in ages from 1-17, and she didn't have the money to feed them.  When women and children are involved, my heart breaks.  I had bought a bag of black beans at the market on Saturday.  We were able to give her beans, rice, a can of fruit, and a few eggs.  I knew the food we provided would be able to last her family a few days.  Many times when people are trying to buy enough to sell, they continue door to door until they receive something to sell.  This lady, however, graciously took what I gave her and headed home with her children.

I cannot imagine not being able to feed my little Haley.  I know it must be humiliating to go door to door to ask for food to feed your children.  Just think, if you did not have the opportunity to receive an education and you have several children and no one to help care for them, your options for work are few, and one involves betraying yourself and pleasuring others.  I don't know what I would do in the same situation, but I would do whatever it took to put food on the table for my child.  Please pray for this lady and her children tonight, and thank God that you and your family were able to eat several times today.

In the States we do a lot of talking about God's call to feed the hungry, and look after the poor.  While poverty is everywhere in the states, it is much more in your face here, and even more wide-spread in Honduras.

Midnight Musings

Here I am up a few minutes before midnight.  I'm usually not up this late, but I contribute it to an after dinner bottle of Diet Coke (which I rarely have caffine late in the day) and a head full of thoughts.  Every March rolls around, and I think a lot more about my big brother.  As of next week sometime, we mourn the 11th year that we lost him.  It never gets easier in March, but I hope to never forget him.  He was a good big brother, and I know that he would have been an awesome uncle.  I already tell Haley Uncle Ryan stories. 

This is my second year to not be in the states at this time, the first year being 5 years ago.  That year was especially hard on me.  I turned 20 that year.  Ryan did not make it to his 20th birthday, and it was very surreal to me to reach an older age than my big brother ever did reach.  This year also, seems somewhat overwhelming to me.  I am bombarded with learning Spanish, and very far away from my family. 

This time of year is always akward for me because I feel sad, but I don't express my saddness very well, and I feel like I must be a superhero when my family also is sad.  I don't really know how to just be sad with them.  I'm also not very good at receiving their comfort.  I wish I was better at that.

I don't really know if that many people that read my blog knew Ryan, but if you did your life would have been blessed and richly entertained.  His favorite thing in life was laughter.  He was always telling jokes and saying funny stories.  He was a good big brother.  I will always remember that the last thing I ever heard him say was I love you as he hugged me.  Most almost 20 year olds are probably annoyed by their bratty 14 year old sisters (as I know Ryan was too at times), but he always took the time to let me know he loved me.  Even when I was a band nerd, at Nathan's football games, he would walk right in the middle of the pep band and give me a hug.  Also, when I was in 7th grade and he was a senior in high school, he would let me sit with him and his friends when there were no more seats with the 7th graders.  Everyone says he was a good friend.  He would do anything for anyone and talk to anyone, even in the middle of the night.  He thought anything concerning poo and farts was hilarious.  One year at Christmas, he had an entire tape of Christmas parodies that were sung about these subjects to the tunes of well known Christmas songs.  I know that is gross, but it was part of who he was.  He even bought a key chain that looked like poo and took the metal ring off.  He would put it in the floor of the house or a school class room to make people think someone/something had gone in the floor.  He was suprisingly good with kids.  Small children saw him and saw a jungle gym to climb on.  He was always both gentle and patient with them.

Ryan was far from perfect, but he loved life so much.  For years I was very angry with God for taking my big brother from me.  It still sadens me.  I also realize that there is no time in heaven and he hasn't even had time to miss me yet.  When I get there, it will be like I was separated from him for only seconds in the day.  While sometimes I am saddened by this great loss to humanity, I love to remember my big brother.

Out of the mouths of babes

Why is it that we as parents that we think many of the things our small children do are the cutest or sweetest thing ever?  I don't know the answer to this question, but I know it must have something to do with the overwhelming love we feel for them.  Sometimes I get frustrated or annoyed with the daily happenings of life, but Haley can come in with her pudgy little arms to give me a hug, and my frustrations seem to slip away.  Around 10:30 last night, I was washing dishes when Haley woke up crying and yelling for me.  At first, I went in and gave her the pacifier assuming that would calmer her down as usual.  A few minutes later she started crying again.  So I went to get her and took her into my room to rock her.  Right before she closed her eyes for the final time, she looked up at me and whispered luuuu ooooo.  My heart was mush at that second.  I love her so much.

Then this morning, Haley and Matt started eating before I did.  When I sat down to pray, I bowed my head.  Haley reached her hand for mine and said "Anem."  This is how she says Amen, and it is the only part of the prayer she can say.  She says it before we pray and after we pray.  Sometimes she even says it during the prayer as if it will finish the prayer sooner.  It was so sweet that she wanted to join me as I prayed this morning.